A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So today I went on a really good *first* date with this guy I met recently. While walking together,around 10 PM, someone called him ..he said sorry to me then responded with "I cant talk now" (i dont remember what else he said but it was short),he hung up, and we kept walking till we got to this cosy restaurant...Our date continued and we went to this other place and around 1 AM we were saying our goodbyes and we both wanted a taxi...So I try to get into one taxi,but the driver says that I need to go to the front of the taxi queue. So as I am walking there,I see the guy holding his cellphone to his ear... He was walking in front of me (in search of a taxi). I called out his name,and he turned back to see me. I noticed something in his hand,and asked him what it was.He said "my phone"..Then,we said goodbye again, I got the first taxi,and he got the second in the taxi line.So I am wondering... Isn't it a bit strange to call someone AFTER A DATE, at 1 AM?Btw,he used to live in Germany until 1-2 yrs ago and all his family is there.What I suspect is he has a girlfriend in Germany.and I also suspect he called back the person who called at 10.How do I go about this? I mean it's really early and I can't appear nosey but obviously I want to know if he is involved with someone else.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2011): A first date? It sounds like the 10 pm call was an exit strategy in case the date wasn't going well and he wanted to leave without awkwardness - you know, a pre-planned fake emergency. But he said "I can't talk now" and the call was soon over. IE the date was going well and he didn't need rescuing but wanted to go on getting to know you. The call straight after the date ended = him calling the person back to talk about how well things went. Simple. Try not to be so suspicious, you'll drive yourself nuts! And drive guys away. Have you had your trust broken badly by someone before? Because not everyone is untrustworthy.
A
female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (31 March 2011):
 Stop over-analysing. It was most likely a family member or something. Relax!! People have a tendency to over-analyse when excited, ladies in particular. Just relax.
Best of Luck
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (31 March 2011):
 I did not get that he hung up the second time, but again... all that means is that he was out with you , focused on you, and couldn't take/finish the call. I really think you're making someone seem guilty before you have adequate back up.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (31 March 2011):
 So this guy has good manners. He puts off other business to focus on you. And What does he get in return? Clingy suspicion.
FA
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your response.
However,I must say I am taken aback by the fact he didn't continue speaking on the phone when I called his name (the second time). Our date was practically over,so he could either talk or say something like "hold on a sec" to the person on the phone and the phone would still be on.But again,he chose to hang up.
I was never the person to stress about phone calls or whatever,but this time it's my gut telling me somethings going on...
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (31 March 2011):
I thought that the one at 1AM was self explanatory, if someone needed him and he didn't want to ignore their call.. then of course he will call them back asap. If both of you are up at 1AM, then i'm sure he knows many other people who are as well. The part you can't remember may be something like "i'm on a date, i'll call you around midnight or later." or "I call you back late tonight."
The 1AM aspect is not something I think you should worry over too much.
I don't see a problem with your asking him if he's involved with someone, because that's your business as long as you are involved with him, but I don't recommend asking him about the phone call.
If he says he's not involved with someone and you ask, then he'll just lie, won't he? Because he's already lying.
If he says he is involved wiht someone else, then do you really need to ask about the phone call?
Either way you appear somewhat nosy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe would have gotten several more calls to his phone through out your date if that were the case.
= he might of put it on silent..?
You sorta analyzed the phone call at 10 PM.
What about 1 AM,when he said goodbye to me and immediately called someone?
Either way, I can only assume. And I agree with you, it could be many other people.
But the seed has been planted...
Today,on our first date, he asked me how long was my longest relationship.
I said 6 months,he said 9 months...
If I ask him if He's involved with someone, will it be too bad if i mention the phonecalls?
and if there is someone else ( In Germany ) How can I find out?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe would have gotten several more calls to his phone through out your date if that were the case.
= he might of put it on silent..?
You sorta analyzed the phone call at 10 PM.
What about 1 AM,when he said goodbye to me and immediately called someone?
Either way, I can only assume. And I agree with you, it could be many other people.
But the seed has been planted...
Today,on our first date, he asked me how long was my longest relationship.
I said 6 months,he said 9 months...
If I ask him if He's involved with someone, will it be too bad if i mention the phonecalls?
and if there is someone else ( In Germany ) How can I find out?
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (31 March 2011):
His girl friend would not accept the answer "I can't talk right now." He would have gotten several more calls to his phone through out your date if that were the case.
It's way too early for to be assuming he's with someone else. It could very well be a best friend who's going through something, so he doesn't want to ignore the call. It could be his mom who he never gets in touch with because they're always missing each other, so he didn't want to ignore the call. Don't you think that if it was his "girl friend" he would have ignored the call altogether as no to arouse your suspicions.
It's just too early for all this and I'm sorry but you are appearing nosy. :( There are many answers to who he could be talking to and I really think you should wait until you've been out with him a couple more times at least, before you jump into any conclusions. Now anyone will tell you to keep your eyes and ears open and be cautious, but this is the same of any man.
And as I would say for any other relationship, don't jump too quickly. Get to know him before you invest all your heart into him, that way, if there is someone else, you'll be better off and less hurt.
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