A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I feel really insecure with my new boyfriend. I've had 3 boyfriends in my entire life, i'm 15 and will be 16 in less than a month. My first boyfriend lasted for 9 months, and unfortunely he was just a fool, but once again unforutnely, he was the only one out of all 3 of them who properly knew me. He knew everything about me and even to this day I can't really say there is anyone else who knew me better. He was a mistake however, I spent alot of my time with him thinking he was something that he relvantly wasn't. I don't miss him and am completely over him however I just wish I could be less shy and open with my new boyfriend as I was with my last one. I've been with my new boyfriend for just over a month, and I can't fault him, hes the best person i've been out with so far and is a definate improvement compared to the others but I just feel it really hard to truely connect with him. He doesn't know almost anything about me and I don't want to open up with him just simply out of fear of me finally being able to trust another boy and then it all going terrible. I've raised my standards so much and i've finally found someone whos on my level in all ways but I just feel like I can't be myself 100% around him. I also find it really hard when i'm having a blib or one of my depressed days to explain it to him simply beause i'm worried he will think i'm abit of a freak or just really won't understand it. I get worried that I might offend him and I know he thinks the absoulute world of me but I just wish I wasn't so nervous around him and could kind of just stop worrying about everything and be happy around him. I don't know why i'm finding it hard, after all hes the best person i've met so far, we are already drifting away slightly just because we haven't really connected on an emotional levle yet and in order to do that I know I need to open up and just not worry but I'm finding it so hard too. He feels so much for me, and I feel alot for him too, but I just feel like I haven't properly connected with him and I thought by now I should of. I'm worried we are gonna drift apart just because i'm finding it so hard to be myself around him and just really let go of everything thats happened to me in the past as I haven't been treated partically well. I'm really stumped for answers is there anything anyone can suggest?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (8 January 2013):
 You don't need to open up completely. Just have fun and enjoy being with each other. When you're ready to open up to him on an emotional level you will. You have to be comfortable first. You need to know he's trustworthy too and 1 month is not long at all.
So, my advice is, just spend some time together, do fun things and enjoy yourself. When you're comfortable enough to open up then do so as mush or as little as you want in your own time.
I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself.
A
female
reader, [?]BitterSweetFinale;[?]  +, writes (8 January 2013):
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png) Maybe you are just not ready for a relationship. Not saying you should cut all ties but if you can't be yourself around him at all, I don't think there's much you can do. You don't need to change yourself or act like nothing's wrong. Let me tell you, hiding things from him isn't easy on either of you. And until you feel able to trust another person with your personal life and for him to really get to know you. You need to start forgiving yourself for your previous relationships with other boys. Do not think this is bad, it just takes time to get over things like these. They don't go away overnight. Just take time to forgive yourself and to be able to trust another. You can take this gently and one step at a time, you don't have to do it all at once. Does he make you feel like you have to say everything? If he does, tell him you will tell him things slowly, you're in no rush. You want him to prove to you, in ACTIONS that he is not going anywhere. That way, you won't feel bitter of yourself for letting him in. :)
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