A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I started dating this guy about a year ago. I liked him and was attracted to him but didn't think of him as being potentially "the one" as we were in vey different stages of our lives (me all settled with a good career, money etc and him basically 10 years behind just going back to school, living with his parents, with no money, which btw i admired bc it takes a lot of guts). We were living an hour away from each other and would only see each other weekends. I think he was very impressed by me and proud of having me as his gf). He was extremely into me, calling me every night, wanting to spend the whole weekend at my place, making plans for the following year, already talking about the future which on my end would make me a little uncomfortable as i had no idea if we could even have a future together. I never thought i would still be with him a year later and i would always "curb his enthusiasm" and tell him to take things slowly (i remember having the conversation with him that he was going too fast). For me it was more about enjoying the present time and not worrying about the future as much. I had been in a very LTR and liked my life alone.But 2 weeks ago we had an argument over some jealousy issue and since then i feel like there has been a shift. Its as if I now feel clingy and he is more removed. When i never thought before that there was a future for us, Im actually thinking about it as a possibility. But i have no idea where he is at in his head. After a year i dont know if i can continue the weekend visits indefinitely. But i don't want to get married or rush things either. I think im scared. Has any of you experienced a change of heart like this?
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female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (17 June 2012):
 You are going to have to deal with the jealously issue and the possibility of a committed long-term relationship head-on. If you don't, you will never get answers to your questions. It sounds a bit like he does not know what he wants and you do not know what you want. If that is the case, you might be doing the best thing by taking a break from one another. The last thing you need to do is make decisions based on fear. If you think you're scared, you probably are, so take time out to think about what you really want in your life. It's quite possible he has removed himself because he senses that you are hesitant about the relationship. If you aren't sure about a relationship, then leave it. Don't lead him into thinking there could be something long-term when that is not what you're about.
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