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Fiance's family is mess! Worried about the reception

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Question - (8 February 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 8 February 2009)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I'm getting married soon. And I have a dilema. My fiances family are..a mess. I'm no snob. We both come from the same urban neighborhood. But his family is one of a kind. His fathers always drunk or high. His mother is crazy, certified crazy. I honestly don't think that they will ruin my reception. Being that its basically a party. Complete with liquor, music, and food. How can I avoid this, besides calling off the wedding.

View related questions: drunk, fiance, wedding

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (8 February 2009):

Tisha-1 agony auntOkay, eek, not a great thing to have to worry about, it's supposed to be the happiest day of your life. Have you already booked the venue and time?

If not, a couple of suggestions:

Have the wedding and reception early in the day, morning to midmorning, so that they don't have much time to get inebriated before the reception.

Do not serve anything but beer and wine, make it hard to get to and have the caterer use really small glasses. Don't let the guests take the beer or wine bottles with them. Or if it's really a concern, go alcohol-free. Or "run out" after a certain time.

Split the reception into two rooms, put the drunk ones in the second room, and close the door.

Consider having a wedding ceremony with a really short (and booze-free) reception for the family, for music do something really formal, like a harpist. Then have a party later in the day that is not the formal reception, but that's the one that gets the DJ or the band and that's the one where you can have alcohol. Just tell his family it was organized by friends if they catch on to it.

It sounds like you know how his parents are going to react, so rather than get angry after the fact, just accept that you won't be able to have the same kind of reception everyone else gets. It's unfair, yes, but it's also realistic.

Congratulations, by the way!

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A female reader, sweetheart03 United States +, writes (8 February 2009):

Maybe u should try asking the whole bridal party including parents to not drink. But then at the same time I know they gonna be like what the hell. The next thing is to ask them not to over drink the whole bridal party. U know like a bridezilla type of thing. Just be real say its my day and I don't anybody getting crazy and showing there ass....if anybody does they will be asked to leave. They should respect that....just don't single them out let everyone know but u and ur boo really make sure they know ur serious. Its ur day. Its ur way or no way

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A male reader, The old Man? United States +, writes (8 February 2009):

The old Man? agony auntHave it alcohol free, you can say that you are worried about anyone getting killed driving drunk. I've heard that one used before.

Cash bar, booze is rather spendy, and people don't get too drunk.

Tell your fiance that you don't want booze, for the reason you stated! Tell him just what you told us!

If he loves ya, he'll understand..

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A female reader, uluvme0723 United States +, writes (8 February 2009):

uluvme0723 agony auntSorry. I'm the writer of the post. And I do think that they'll ruin the reception. When his family gets together its a disaster. And this day I will remember for the rest of my life. And honestly if his family ruins it, I will annul the marriage. I'm so serious.

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