A
female
age
36-40,
*mileyface.
writes:im going to make this short and simple.im with my fiance who has 2 kids by his ex-wife, what should i do, everytime i do something she does not like she tells him he cant see his kids. its not fair to him, what should i do ?
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female
reader, Fabulosa +, writes (4 January 2011):
 Call the police and meet them at her house (or where ever the court says to pick them up). Make sure he has the court order on hand. Do it every single time. The cops should give him a report if he asks for it. Keep the reports and after you get enough have him go to court with the reports. I don't know where u live but here in ny we have a horrible family court system. My husbands ex cuts herself infront of their kids. Child protected wont do anything their exact wards are "being a cutter is not means to remove the children"... the court said even if the kid tell them that their mom drinks, crys and cuts her self infront of them (witch they have) it not enough evidence. So I know it can be fusterating. But if bringing the reports doesn't work u may have to desire if this is something u want to live with. If you guys can't figure out a way to live unaffected by this then u have to make a hard choice.
A
female
reader, smileyface. +, writes (4 January 2011):
smileyface. is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you for all the good info.
Chickita,
my fiance is amazing, and he is respectful and very loveable. he is like no other. and when she was with him he had money and was a good man, i just feel that she is doing all this because of everything she had at one point in her time with him.
but she is always saying she wishes she had kids by another man, and thats upsetting to him, and she was also cheating on him while they were married. so im not really sure why all of a sudden she wants him back. and she also pretents to cry to his family. she has all his family members thinking he is a horrible father/ person. (and he's not)
Fabulosa,
he has called the cops on her so many times before. and when the cop shows up she lies and says " he wont take my kids and its his time "
and he doesnt get fustrated with her so he just ignores what she says and just ends up leaving with out his kids, because all it ever is, is a fight and battle with her.
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A
female
reader, Chickita  +, writes (3 January 2011):
Hi smileyfaceI'm gonna say some pretty random things - things I just learnt as i am in a similar situationThe baby mamma/ex isnt going anywhere...she's in your life for as long as youre in his life. She obviously still loves him or why would she react and behave the way she does? She won't be upstaged by you (in her mind) and as long as she feels she has the power to fight your fiance, fight you and your relationship - yours will never be as blissful at its meant to beSummary you have an ex that's still in love with your fiance, who happens to control the one thing your fiance loves more than you - his kids (and thats a very good thing, he shows he is a good man), the kids are her trump card, giving her indirect control over him and to some extent your relationship.So...until the kids are old enough to call the shots or until she/the ex truly gets over your fiance, this is going to be an ongoing battle. You need to take that control away...acknowledge that you really cant control how she behaves, you can only control how you behave and influence how you fiance behaves...collectively (your fiance and you) can overcome her dubious and immature tactics by sticking together and by not giving her power over your lives. How do you do that? Firstly by not over-reacting and getting frustrated when she pushes that button. Then fight back. Is by committing to enforcing the court order, its not good enough that you threaten to enforce the court order - she obviously doesnt respond to your threats. Get the cops and go to her house. Another way is to warn her that if she denies you access to the kids you'll stop paying child support (please dont actually do that, its breaking the law if you do and two wrongs dont make a right) and also tell her if she goes to court thats fine, as in defense you'll raise the fact that she doesnt stick to her end of the bargain either. Look, I dont have the answers but I do know that your fiance and you can not be weaker than this women if you act collectively. Dont allow her to frustrate you nor your husband...stick together and think of ways of fighting back.
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A
female
reader, Fabulosa +, writes (3 January 2011):
This must be extreamly fusterating for you. U should have your husband to be call the police ever time she go aginst the court order. Have the order with him to show the cop and then the cop should give him some paper work.after a few times bring the papers to court to prove she's braking the court order and she may even be arrested.... but she doesn't get to say he can't have the kids if your around. She doesn't get to say she doesn't want the kids around someone she doesn't like if the FATHER dose.he gets to makethat choice. And it doesn't sound like she's some fabulous mother anyway. Good moms don't keep the kids from the father to spite his new girl.
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A
female
reader, smileyface. +, writes (3 January 2011):
smileyface. is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthere is a court order but she does not care, she says we have to be on her schedule, and she knows who i am, we've spoken a couple of times before any of this happened and she didnt like me then. one minute she is nice and the next she is being a jerk. she is driving me crazy, and harassing me 27/7. and i honestly dont know what else to do because anything i do reflects on the kids and him. if its not her way then she isnt happy, and when he ask her what he can do to see his children she says get that b...h outta your life, then you can see them
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A
female
reader, dmartin89  +, writes (3 January 2011):
 Do you mean that she won't let him see them when you are around or not at all?
Because if she doesn't like you, then she isn't going to want her children to be around a women she doesn't know, trust or like.
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A
female
reader, Fabulosa +, writes (3 January 2011):
He should go to court. Get court ordered days and times that he has the kids and then if she doesnt let him have them when its time to get them then she's braking an order from the court and can get into big trouble! The probably the best and most secure thing he can do... ( trust me. My husband and I had that problem with his piece of poop ex)
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