A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a 25 year old, my fiance really doesn't seem interested in me in bed. He kisses me all the time grabs my butt but just really doesn't seem interested in sex! Just recently I found out that he has been wathcing porn on the computer. He is 38 so there is a 12 year difference in our age. I just don't know if I can handle being rejected any more this is tearing me apart inside. I love him dearly, but does he love me in lots of other ways he shows it just not in the bedroom. I don't know what to do any ideas?
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female
reader, Myrrh  +, writes (3 February 2010):
 Talk to him. You need to know why hes not interested. Hes obviously got sexual urges if hes watching porn, so ask why he doesnt show them when hes with you. You really have to talk to him as he holds all the answers x
A
male
reader, childof1981 +, writes (2 February 2010):
 First question I have to ask is how often you initiate sex? I only ask because men get discouraged if they are always the one to initiate it. I guess my point is if you are feeling unloved because he is not initiating sex, imagine how he might feel if you are not doing so.
The first two steps I would try would be to either initiate sex yourself or respond to his physical affection in a manner that will lead to sex.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (2 February 2010):
 You haven't given us enough information to work with. We know nothing about him, you or your relationship. Maybe he's gay, maybe he's under stress at work, maybe he doesn't fancy you, maybe he's got depression, maybe he has a lower sex drive than you. Maybe he's a Christian nad he thinks sex before marriage is wrong. Who knows????
However, you definitely cannot marry him. Too many women on dear cupid find themselves married to a partner who seems not to like sex. Sex is an important part of marriage. If he's not performing already, and you are feeling frustrated, imagine how you'll feel after the wedding.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (2 February 2010):
 Is there any sex at all?
How long has he been single.
Why is he dating a child?
I am always a bit suspicious about huge age differences and problem relationships. To put it at its most basic, why was he left on the shelve for so long? An old man more intrested in jacking off then a young woman... might that be the reason nobody else snapped him up? Certainly there is no shortage in women wanting to get married.
There could be all sorts of reasons for his behavior. Impotence, performance anxiety, inexperience, gay, porn addict... what is going on exactly and what are the experiences of previous owners?
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