A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice,Me and my fiance have been together for nearly 2 years and we have been fine. However, there have been times where for some reason I would sext other women. I can't say for sure why I did it, I just did. When she found out about each time she cried, we talked about it and then we were fine. I went to counselling for this and I thought I was fine.But in the week just gone I tried to ask a girl again, she refused and that was the end of it. My fiance logged into my facebook and saw it. This time she isn't forgiving me so easily, she says she can't trust me but doesn't know what she wants to do about it.I know what I did was wrong and I deeply regret it so please spare those comments. All I want to ask is, is there any chance at all that she will take me back?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou were all correct, she has ended it.
I thank you all for your answers
A
female
reader, jinxx  +, writes (16 April 2012):
 You're "sexting" these women because you want to. You're young, and you aren't ready to be in a committed, monogamous relationship.
Your question shouldn't be will she take you back, but SHOULD she? It's clear she is looking for someone who will be trustworthy and make her feel secure... this is not you. I think you should let the relationship end, and live your life in the meantime. If you're single, you're free to do as you please without hurting someone who loves and depends on you.
It's not a bad thing that you enjoy doing this with several women, but it shouldn't be done while you're in a relationship and you know that. Don't make excuses for yourself, you did something wrong and you need to own up to that. Whatever your reasons may be (and I'm sure you actually do know what they are) they don't really fly in your current situation.
Let her go, and let her find happiness. You, I'm sure, will also find happiness in the process.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (16 April 2012):
 IF you are 21 and have been together for 2 years that means you have been with her since you were 19. If you sext other women and ‘can’t say for sure why you did it” you are NOT ready to be in a committed relationship (which is normal and a good thing at such a young age)
The truth is you KNOW deep down why you did it… you are not ready to be committed and engaged.
Break the engagement… go have a life for a bit… your GF may be the right one for you… but you are not truly sure or you would not be doing what you are doing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2012): Didnt your counseling help you to understand why you have this habit? If you have had counseling for this problem but you still have the problem and still dont know why you do it. Then you should ask for a refund!
Your ex girlfriend might date you again but eventually she will tire of your habit and leave permanently.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 April 2012):
 You can't even man up and explain WHY you do what you do, that says a lot. You don't "just" sext random chick and not know why you do it.
Maybe you need to do the right thing by your fiance and break of the engagement, because you aren't mature enough or ready enough for being in a monogamous relationship and it's HIGHLY unlikely that once you are married you will instantly be able to be monogamous.
Go be single. Let her find someone who wants the same things she wants, obviously YOU don't.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2012): Agree with the others. If you are in the 18-21 age bracket, you probably shouldn't even be engaged. You're far too young and, based on what you've said, too immature for a serious relationship, let alone and engagement.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (15 April 2012):
 You already had your second chance and you blew it "without knowing why". I say unless you find out WHY you keep doing yourself this disservice then you wont get far. You say you went to counseling because of this, didn't you discover anything about yourself during this period? Why did you not learn from your mistake? Unless you figure this out and actually learn your lesson you'll never have a chance at a good relationship with a good woman.. ever. Not with this girl, and not with anyone else either.
Your chances with your fiance are unfortunately blown out of the window. It'll take massive work on your part, and on hers, to ever recover from this break of trust. It depends on how willing she is to forgive, or on how stupid she is. Because as mean as this is of me to say, if she cares more about you than herself and has little self respect she might take you back. People who do not respect themselves allow people to walk over them.. If you actually love her do you really want her to take you back knowing you are dishonest and a cheater? Are YOU someone who is good for her?
Figure out why this keeps happening, because it is never without reason.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2012): You must know deep down why you are doing this. It is not fair on your fiance. How would you feel if she was doing it to you? Clearly you're not going to change, so do the decent thing, let her down gently, set her free so she can go be swept off her feet by a man who would never dream of treating her that way.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2012): "where for some reason"
Not good enough OP, you need to figure that out. If you can't give a reason then how can she know it will never happen again?
"is there any chance at all that she will take me back?"
Yes, but you should do her a favour and cut all ties with her OP. She deserves better doesn't she? and you can't give that to her because you claim not to even know why you do these things. What do you think you should here OP? What would be best for her? You don't only want to be with her, you want to flirt, sext and have fun with other girls, so go be single then and stop hurting this girl. If you love her you will let her go, only a selfish ass would keep her hanging when he knows he's going to fool around other girls. You need to stop making excuses we both know why you do it, because one girl is boring to you, she's not enough and you want that excitement and spark of fucking around with other girls for the first time.
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A
female
reader, Battista +, writes (15 April 2012):
Probably not as once trust is lost it is very hard to get back. You've got a track record now so she has no grounds to believe you if you tell her you won't do it again.
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