A
female
age
,
*sla77
writes:Please can you help with the 2 following Questions.BackgroundI am 46f, my new fiance is a 50yr male. We live 60 miles apart but see each other every weekend ( we take turn in travelling. He also visits me every Wed. We have been dating 18month.Q1 Last week we chatted about him moving in with me if he gets early retirement. He will rent his house out for £450 per month approx, will also save on his gas, elec, council tax etc. He has offered to pay half my bills which would amount to £30 a week, has stated he wont pay anything towards my mortgage as its my house and not his, nor pay anything towards wear and tear on items etc. I suggested he pay some money equivilent to renting a room since he is going to be saving so much if he moves. He has said thats his business and not mine and I should not expect him to pay more. Opinions please. Please reply with age and gender.Q2 He rarely takes me out much and mostly when we do I make a point in fairly contributing to the cost as I know he watches his pennies despite having a much better job than me. This week I ordered 2 tickets for a xmas nite out at £27.50 each. He thinks I am well out of order as I have asked that he pay my ticket too. We have now fallen out over this. Opinions please. Please reply with age and gender.
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female
reader, sugarcandy  +, writes (12 November 2010):
What does age and gender have to do with anything?Q1, he needs to pay 50% of everything upon moving in. Rent, bills, groceries, etc. That is fair. It doesn't matter whose house it is, who makes more money than who - unless the person owning the house says it is 100% fine the other person doesn't have to pay a dime, all costs should be evenly split.Q2 - why didn't you pay for your own ticket this time around like you normally do?
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 November 2010):
Okay. I'm 22, and a male. But he sounds much like my father, who is a selfish man who also screws people out of money for his own mends.
Q1 - It is unacceptable that he should not pay more in your house. Half the bills is one thing, but to not pay wear and tear on items, and not to pay something towards the mortgage even if it's just for a room is tight, and a bit cruel. Then to suggest that it's his business and not yours is a major show that he's tight, controlling and selfish. Of course it's your business! Especially considering he will rent his own house out for profit, and not give you a penny.
Q2 - Again, this shows how tight he is. I'm not saying people shouldn't pay for hald their share. But to then get angry and fall out over £27 is really sad.
Basically, I don't think you should be with this guy. Here's why
1 - He intends to retire early, and expects you to pick up the bill.
2 - He is going to rent out his own house, making profit. Yet none of this will go towards your home, or anything in it. Unacceptable. If he moves in, he should be paying for half of everything except the mortgage, though he should pay something towards it.
3 - He is claiming that his money matters are not your business. Money matters for a couple should be dealt with as a couple. He can't expect you to be open with him, if he isn't with you.
4 - In saying that his money is his own business, he has shown how controlling he is.
5 - He even fell out with you over a £27 ticket.
Please, please dump him. He is only in this for himself, and worse if he moves in he will be entitled to part of your home if something goes wrong between you. All he wants to do is retire and live off you. Please, please take it from someone who has a father like this that you need to dump him.
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