A
female
age
41-50,
*abybaby
writes:I've been having a lot of worry since I have turned the age of 30. I understand that fertility starts to decline in the 30s and more particular there is risk after age 35. I am currently in a relationship, and while he wants to get married and have kids in the near future he has no real set date or time for this to happen which keeps me in worry mode that by the time he's ready or that I find anyone ready it will be to much a challenge to have children. If I had it my way I would of had children already. If I only wanted one I think it would be a bit easier to conceive one getting older but the fact is I want two. I feel like I'll never have a secure marriage and family. I have a strong desire to have children, but I don't want to without a strong marriage for fairness to the child and for strong financial future. It's making me depressed that I'm getting older any advice?
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female
reader, babybaby +, writes (11 November 2010):
babybaby is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you that sounds like a solid plan! I will make a nice dinner for a very strong and solid conversation this weekend. Thank you! I will talk to my gyno on the freezing options!
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (11 November 2010):
There are two things I think you need to do, and one has already been mentioned below. Perhaps having some eggs removed and frozen will ensure that you will have something should everything take too long. At least that way, you'll stand a good chance of becoming a mum.
I think the other thing you need to do is talk to your boyfriend again. Because men can still have children well into old age, kids are not necessarily a priority. For women, of course, it is because of your biological clock. I think you need to sit down with your boyfriend and explain that you are feeling a little insecure that your biological clock is ticking, and that there are no set plans for your future. Explain how much it means to you, and show him all the medical evidence that shows how a woman's chances decline in her late thirties. Unless he isn't interested in kids, or it's not a priority, he should listen and you should both start making this five year plan together.
So, see about having eggs frozen, and speak to your boyfriend seriously about how you're feeling and specifically WHY.
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A
female
reader, babybaby +, writes (11 November 2010):
babybaby is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you, see ive been with him all through college! He has asked my dad for my hand the whole works but still no marriage.. now his mom has cancer and he put it off! I am going to start looking at other options like you said, its looking slim for me! Thanks
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A
female
reader, isla77 +, writes (11 November 2010):
You seem a very wise young lady!
I left it too late, nowadays you can have some eggs removed and frozen til you require them. Maybe a route for you explore.!
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