A
male
age
41-50,
*nonymus2012
writes:So, Im here in need of advice =)My ldr girlfriend and i are happy, i love her and she loves me. We ve been together for 3 months and I just came back from a trip to europe to see her, mom and some of her friends and she doesnt like the idea to change her relationship status on FB which i dont like but i agree in order to avoid an argument.Once i came back from Europe ( I live in WA) I posted some of the pics of my trip where she is with me hugging each other, kissing and goofing around. I was hoping she could tag herself in order to show the pics in her FB for her friends... she didnt do it. I must say we have no friends in common on FB in Europe, so nobody there would see the pics.Maybe Im overthinking, but...If i want to show her to the world because I love her and Im so much proud of her why wouldnt she do the same??? Could it be possible she doesnt want her other friends to know she is in a relationship with somebody overseas? I dont want to tag her on any pictures yet, im waiting her to do it by herself but is over a week now, she just said that the pics made her smile...Dear aunts, whats your opinion? should i tag her, talk to her aboutr this or just disregard this issue and pretend this is not bothering me? We are gonna meet in Miami next month, should i wait until then, take some pics and then tag her and the see how she reacts? help please!!!!
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male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (22 August 2012):
 Good relationships need good communication. It is important to talk through anything that concerns you. If you keep sweeping problems under the carpet, they will build up and fester. It's your choice, but i strongly advise you to talk to her about this.
A
male
reader, anonymus2012 +, writes (22 August 2012):
anonymus2012 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your time and advice. I havent talk to her regarding this issue and i think i shouldnt. In the meantime I'll set it aside and later in a few months will talk to her about this. Is true we have so many cultural differences and FB may be one of them. best wishes to all of you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2012): Hi. I am from Europe, living in Europe. We do not "waist" our time in such a thing like facebook. Sorry to say "waist" but we dont really care about posting our daily life on pics ..
I agree and understand your gf 100% There is a huge cultural gap between US and Europe.
You said you have been dating for 3 months, is a little time specialy because you live in US and she still lives here (Europe), you go there as a "guest" , "turist". Everything may looks soo wonderful. Take your time and dont bother your gf with "facebook" drama..really. In Europe we dont care about it at all.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (21 August 2012):
 My fiance does not even have facebook.. he can't stand the drama.
It may mean nothing
It depends on if she lives her life on facebook or not.
for me, not tagging does not mean anything... for someone who's a drama whore, it means every thing.
if she's not huge into facebook, it means nothing
if she lives her life on it, it's a big red flag.
only you can know how important facebook is to her...
that being said... IT BOTHERS YOU SO YOU MUST DISCUSS IT WITH HER.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (21 August 2012):
It's upsetting you, so talk to her about it and let her explain how she feels about it.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (21 August 2012):
Not everyone likes to post every detail of their lives on Facebook: for some people, a relationship, their photos, their travel history, family life, career and all kinds of other information are private and they don’t want absolutely everyone to know about it. Don’t use Facebook to judge the success of this relationship, or to read her intensions. She may prefer only for those friends and family she speaks to in person to know, what’s the harm in that? If you think she might be uncomfortable being tagged in photos, ask her first, and don’t get too upset if she says no. It’s not about you, it’s about her own views on privacy which you should respect. You might take different approaches to Facebook, but remember that, however happy you are, you don’t need to share it with the world, so if she’s more cautious about it, it doesn’t say anything good or bad about the relationship itself. If things are otherwise well, just put this down to a difference in preferred ways to use a web site, because that really is all that it is. It’s as unimportant as that, don’t overthink it.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (21 August 2012):
 I agree. Facebook (and forums like it) are not a litmus test for the sincerity of one's regard for you.
The more you make your private life public the more you subject it to scrutiny, speculation, gossip and questions. It really doesn't enhance what you have. It cheapens it.
You've only been dating for three months. That isn't very long at all. Neither of you knows what the future holds and if things don't work out as planned, you won't want the comments and questions from well wishers on top of whatever grief you'll be experiencing.
If you want what you have to be special, then treat it as such.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (21 August 2012):
 If you are communicating well and regularly and you get on well then you and her are in a happy mature relationship.
And it sounds like she is secure in the knowledge that you love her and she loves you.
Facebook is not loved by everyone. It is just a web site. It is not the "new Religion" though some seem to think it is. Facebook causes untold damage to many relationships.
It is wonderful that you love her so much that you want the world to know. But the most important persons in this are you and her. And you are certain you love her and that she loves you.
So whether the world knows or not will not make your relationship better.
I am sure that people tag photos on FB and do not even care one iota about the person
You DO care.
And I think She DOES care.
So all should be right with the world.
Try not to allow a web site to define your relationship. Whether the Web site be Facebook or Twitter or GMH or Nestle or Duff Beer. They are all just web sites.
What goes on between the two of you is what counts.
Have a general discussion with her about FB
She may be one of the very smart people who think FB is just another Website and cannot be bothered wasting her time with such an artificial device as a Web site that is given far too much power of the minds of some people
Relationships have flourished for eons in time. And without FB
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