A
male
age
30-35,
*akutenou
writes:Hi... I am new here and I am in need of some help. I for some unknown reason have fallen in love with my teacher from junior year of high school. Here is some more information about my situation.My Junior Year he was new to the school and i didnt even think that much of him. I thought he was cool whatever you know some teachers can be. Well instantly he was a hit with all of the females in my school. Lets just say he is very attractive. Well for some reason after about end of december i realized that i liked him. I think personally that i started to like him because of his look on life and perspectives and just his demeanour and pretty much everything he does I like.I thought it was something else like maybe i was just really interested in things about him. In fact i still am interested in things about him. I realized i was in love when he would say something to me and i would feel really nice on the inside and i would get a bit nervous around him. I also would find myself thinking about him all of the time in nonsexual ways, and just wondering what he was doing. What seems really hard about me wanting to tell him is that he is really really attractive and intelligent and just kind, but then I feel as if he wouldnt understand how I feel. The love I express might also be rejected and he may just shrug it off because girls have asked him out before and its weird and he might think I am a pervert and think of him sexually. I mean you should honestly see the stuff girls say about him and sometimes they have the audacity to say it right near him. Ex: "OMG hes so sexy". I feel that i would do anything for him as long as it would not compromise my morals. I have mixed feelings on how he thinks of me. What gives me shreds of confidence in my love is situations. Such as when my friend told him i said hi he turned pink.Also i guess when i say hi to him in person he brightens up more then he had been that whole day. Confusing stuff sorry if this bores you And even though I know that there is a high possibility that my love will not be returned I guess i want closure.Should i tell him how i truly feel?And do you think it is possible my love will be returned? So pretty much should i tell him and what do you think the results will be
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female
reader, mysterious_blonde_lady  +, writes (3 June 2009):
Hmm. That's difficult. The problem with this situation is it's difficult to tell whether he is only interested in friendship (seeing as this is same-sex attraction), i wouldn';t be able to tell you whether he is gay from what you have told me, i will say that seeing as you are between 18-21 i'm sure you are past the 'teacher teenage crush' phase and this may be real love. I think in this situation you need to ask yourself whether you want to just be close friends with this man (which may be possible), seeing as you don't have strong sexual feelings; or whether you want to try and initiate something and possibly ruin any friendship opportunities if he isn't a homosexual. If you feel that you will never move on from these feelings and couldn't bear only friendship then to tell him is maybe the only option for you; however you need to be ready for the potential consequences. I think one of the easiest things to do in this situation is to befriend him and first establish whether he is a homosexual, if he is (or if you know this already) then it is always possible to try and initiate a relationship with him without directly telling him i.e. spending time with him, sharing interests or hobby, going for a drink etc... Sometimes it is overwhelming even when you are attracted to someone, if they tell you suddenly that they want something from you. I try to avoid saying 'I like you' for as long as i can and try to engineer a situation where the other person is showing strong, obvious interest before pushing things.I think you also need to properly understand why or what these feelings are before you run into things; whether this is a case of displacement or escapism or whether you are trying to hold onto the past (school etc.. associated good memories). If this teacher is much older than you i think you need to understand why you are having attractions to him other than him being 'amazing' or 'wonderful' etc... or very attractive; there is usually a strong underlying reason. Good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2009): Hi!
It seems like another case where we let ourselves be emotionally controlled, which is when we tragically(lol!) make rash ruthless decisions like blurting without thinking ending up looking mental so as for actually telling him now i wouldn't advise and of course you're still not sure if he likes you back- you need to do some close detective work whilst maintaining a realistic perspective on things, hard i know but what you've mentioned is somewhat positive-
if he did actually blush and if a friend who's not infatuated with him, specially if your friend's a guy, noticed it it's most probably true, blushing is something common to women when they're attracted so if a guy does it in my opinion it seems significant- tip make eye contact next time you see him if he blushes a second time you're on to something, this coming from an outsider on the situation.
Also rather then telling him there are simple ways that you can get an indication if someone's attracted you need to let him know your interest by things like persistant eye-contact, if he often catches your eye he notices you, give him a nervous smile try blushing if you will :D and OBSERVE common fact over 90% of what we're truthfully trying to communicate is non-verbal look on the internet there is looads of stuff just search non-verbal cues a guy's attracted head tilts all sort of stuff and consider if he is gay he might show some of the signs common to women just a thought.
remember one important thing though it's important to not delude yourself because that's just a way of your brain protecting you from the truth and it hurts so much less to not be disappointed believe me, not saying amke a pro-con list it's easier to listen to your mind your heart and even your body, which responds to signs of attraction subconsciously, maintain a realistic perspective and stay positive how would anything ever be achieved if we weren't motivated by hope?? be true to yourself and take care xx
(eek lenggth lol i need to take up a new hobby !!! :D:D)
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