A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I get really depressed because I have never been asked out despite putting myself out there.I volunteer, I also work in retail. No guys like me and I see other girls who are always asked out and hit on but I am always left out. I am 5'6 and weigh 125 pounds, so its not like I am overweight or anything. I take care of myself-I put on makeup and wear nice clothing. I cry everyday because I am living my life without love. I feel like I will never find love and I am afraid of getting old and ugly and still never finding anyone.
View related questions:
depressed, overweight Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 June 2016):
 You cry every day over this, which tells me that you are probably giving off the wrong vibes to men and that is why they do not want to approach you. It does not matter what you look like, guys want a girl that is confident and also who can be chatty and flirty and sure off herself.
Have you ever tried chatting up a guy? You know it doesn't always need to be the guy that does the flirting and asking out, maybe you need to try and practice.
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (21 June 2016):
No guys like you...WOW....Billions of guys in the world and none of them like you.?
You see...You are having a hard time meeting people for that very way of thinking. If you think NO man in the world like you, then guess what your body language is going to say to all men? GET AWAY FROM ME!!!
Do you like you? Let's start there...What are some of the awesome things about you, that any man would love to have in his life?
What do you feel is special about you?
Forget your height and weight...That makes do difference to a man. Your personality however...very important. One thing guys really like is a confident woman. A woman who is depressed is not confident, and you can only be confident if you love yourself, and feel you got what a man needs...and I don't mean in the bedroom. Sex is the last thing you offer a man.
Your post tells me you are a very passionate woman...so...what are your passions?
These are the things you should be exploring rather than ignoring, and feeling depressed. :)))
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2016): I think you should talk to someone about this, maybe a friend? and see what they say. I've been in these situations and understand it from your point of view.If that doesn't help I would speak to a therapist and have some kind of counciling. You're only young once, I think you should forcus more on your life instead of someone like brad pitt knocking on your door expecting it to be all happy ever after as it doesn't work that way. Go on speed dates or something like sing at karaoke.I met my partner when I went karaoke and sung, didn't need a low cut drop or skinny jeans to get her to notice me, I was just myself and didn't need to do anything else.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2016): Im 28 and all my boyfs I approached myself or met on dating sites. When I went out with mates they got hit on I never did. I have literally never been approached by a man. I don't consider myself unattractive,I try to be friendly etc I think I just don't come across as feminine and flirty which is what a lot of men seem to go for. I'm a bit unusual which doesn't appeal to everyone. You do not need a man to validate you and tell you you are beautiful. You can do that yourself, enjoy your life learn to appreciate yourself and you will feel much happier. Many people are in relationships and are lonely and miserable as hell. Because they pick anyone rather than be alone. If you find the right person you get on with it can be lovely but it compliments you life it is not the be all and end all, or the answer to all your problems. You sound like you need to find happiness and confidence in yourself before you even attempt dating. Think less about being alone and more about self discovery.
...............................
A
male
reader, DarrellG  +, writes (21 June 2016):
 WiseOwlE certainly has a point. One of the reasons could be frustration and desperation and that showing through. I dont think you have low self-esteem though. I think your just wanting something and its not happening and that is frustrating you. I am going to have to say this. You say:"I feel like I will never find love and I am afraid of getting old and ugly and still never finding anyone."In the gentlest possible way I have to ask you to take a deep breath and look at that statement. You are 18-21 according to this post and you have a long, long road to travel before you get even close to being 'old and ugly' and the fact that you say this does show how this frustration is getting to you because its a totally unrealistic statement. Also, I will say this, you need to not depend on being asked out and having a relationship to define you. You don't need a man to feel loved because I am 100% sure you are loved. If you go down this road you will not only attract the wrong type of man but have totally ruinous relationships which will damage and scar you. If your feeling lonely, message a mate and do something, carry on doing what your doing and do so in the confidence that you are not alone. Good luck :)
...............................
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (21 June 2016):
 Weight isn't a reason for anyone not to get love, so please don't feel like being overweight would mean no boyfriend.You're really young and sometimes we just have to wait for the right guy to show up. It's hardly worth it to be asked out by the wrong guys, just to be asked out; that's an ego boost, not love.Trust me; I felt like I was always going to be alone because nobody had asked me out or had a crush on me in my teens. It's hard not to feel undesirable, but you just have to rationalise that you haven't met the right guy yet.Insecurities are normal, but you need to avoid putting your happiness in the hands of a boyfriend. You don't *need* a boyfriend and you'll become clingy in a relationship if you stay this desperate to have a boyfriend, "any boyfriend", which is the vibe you're giving off, at the moment.Don't worry; relax and enjoy yourself - guys will show up in time, usually when we're not really looking :)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2016): It's your low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence that shows through. You are giving off the wrong kind of vibe and guys pick up on it. Your frustration and desperation is visible to people around you. You've expressed that very frustration in your post.
You need a more positive and optimistic outlook on life.
Enjoy life as it comes to you. Love comes when the time is right and no amount of fretting about it will make it come any faster. Guys are probably flirting with you, and you just don't know how to pick-up the signals; or you're expecting them to come right up to you and ask you out. That's not how it works.
Guys avoid any signs of desperation or visible insecurities. We shy from neediness and women/guys who lack confidence.
My advice? Stop fretting about guys not asking you out and just have some fun. Go out with friends, relax and enjoy being young and being a girl. When you start feeling good about yourself and feeling more carefree, it will show.
It will add to your attractiveness and that will draw more attention to your magnetic personality. Guys are not drawn to worry-warts and pouting females. They like girls who seem happy and aware of their value.
Look at life as a gift and appreciate your youth. Do the things that make you happy and put a smile on your face. Don't convince yourself happiness is only possible when you get a boyfriend. It's what projects from your personality that either draws people to you, or repels them from you.
...............................
A
male
reader, Myau  +, writes (21 June 2016):
 How are you around guys? Are you shy? Or uncomfortable?As I always advise guys, you have to get used to being around the opposite sex. Make a friend or two.Now that you are talking to guys you can meet men who are interested in you.It all about socialising, and not throwing yourself at a guy who just isn't interested.
...............................
|
