A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello all- I am a married mom of 4 and recently broke off a 2 year affair. I have been reading through alot of the post and it seems alot of people are having the same issues. I am just feeling really down in the dumps today. I know its going to be a hard road. Im so angry with myself for starting this affair and we have had no commnunication now for 5 days and i miss him. I just feel like a used peice of trash right now. As a person as a mom and as a human.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know what pain you are feeling this is to A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2008. It will get better. I wish i could say that it has completely ended. It has still been happening and I dont know what to do. We work in the same place and its so hard. I love my kids. Apart of me hates myself for what I have become.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2008): I am about to end my affair that I have been involved with for the last two years. My very close friend just discovered it and though she is willing to keep it between us, she pointed out what I have known all along: my children deserve more than what my selfishness will leave them with.
The man I'm having my affair with is so important to my happiness, but it is my responsibility to put my children's happiness ahead of myself. They are so precious and innocent and think that their mommy truly loves their daddy. How can I rob them of that bliss? I absolutely have to end it.
I hear your pain. I feel like someone just died. This despondent feeling is all consuming. What pain I feel now will pass, I know it will. But the emotional scars that my children and husband will have if I don't end it will last forever.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 November 2008):
 Stay away from him, you can't trust yourself, besides you know it's over, just hold that thought as you leave work and go home to your husband and kids.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow. Thanks so much it really helps to know that I am not alone. I work with this man and he just sent me an email asking to see me before I leave today. I dont know what to do. I am happy in a sense because he does not want to end it. It makes me feel wanted and needed but then I know im still so attracted to him....what should I do? In way I can end this with him face to face.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (4 November 2008):
 I'm so sorry that you are hurting. I think that affairs are often like band-aids that are trying to fix a hole in our life, but what they truly are is so insidious. It's a betrayal, it's a lie and it hurts us and everyone around us. That's just too hard to see when you enter into it because the love affair is, at that point, the solution. It's not, it's the problem!!! Now you are experiencing All the downside of it, the guilt, the pain and the loneliness. Those were all the things that you weren't expecting. That love affair is what you need to kick you up the backside and figure out what the heck went wrong in your marriage, and whether or not you can put it all back together. You learn more from your mistakes than from your successes, a this was a mistake. That also makes you human, just like the rest of us. What defines you as a person is what you do from here on out! You have had a bad experience and used some flawed judgement to get there. Realizing that, how you deal with all of this will make you better prepared to teach your kids, believe it or not, so none of us would be prepared to judge you as a Mom. Being a Mom is the hardest job in the world, so focus on that for now and the rest will become a lot clearer. XXX
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