A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, just looking for a bit of advice. I'm 26 and just feeling really fed up with life. I spent 5 years in uni and trained as a teacher but I currently work as a sales manager. I didn't love teaching and jobs were few are far between so I didn't pursue it as a career for long. However, my job at the moment doesn't fulfil me. I work long hours, the pay is average but the company are good and the job is secure. I just really don't want to be there but I don't know what else to do. I'm loyal and I do well in my job and always look at ways of progressing but I'm starting to feel trapped. I've worked abroad for a Summer so its not like I haven't had a varied career. Also, with relationships, I can't seem to meet the 'one' and feel like im setting myself up to be alone forever, as I'm really not interested unless it feels 100% right. I just feel at a bit of a loss and genuinely don't know what I want out of anything. Sorry to moan, but has anybody experienced this/have any advice? Thank you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2014): Thanks for all the advice. I do know that I'm lucky in a lot that I have, there's just something 'missing' and I cant figure out what! But I'll try your suggestions, thank you!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2014): Firstly, you need to find a way of not being such a strict perfectionist when it comes to men. There is no such thing as 100% right, you will never find "the one" because your version does not exist anywhere except in the movies. One of Ryan Gosling's characters may have a chance with you but the real life man himself would be rejected in a heart beat.
Dating is about discovery, you're not giving yourself the chance to discover anything and you're also putting yourself at a huge disadvantage from the outset because there's nothing more off-putting for men than a dreamer looking for the "one".
In terms of jobs you seem to have the same issue. What is it you dream of in terms of jobs and why are you not working towards that? if you're unhappy about something change it, but make sure you're not unhappy for the wrong reasons. I mean if career is anything like how you view relationships then, again, you'll never be happy because it sounds to me like you're a person for whom life will just never be enough, you need perfection and while striving for that is a positive, being depressed because you haven't or won't ever achieve that is a shit way to live.
OP people constantly harp on about how important ambition is, but what's the point in something if it just makes you unhappy.
Other than that I can't relate to your experiences. Career and relationships have never been priorities in my life. Just happiness, fun, good times and good people. I never worried about that other crap. Plus I'm a teacher and I love it.
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A
female
reader, Marilissa75  +, writes (28 March 2014):
 Create two vision boards. One is for career and the other is for your relationship that you would like to have. Use poster board and cut out pictures from magazines and newspapers and words that speak to your wishes. Aim high...whatever you want, just put it on the boards. Look at them every day. This will keep your vision in your mind and you will attract the things you want. I know that sounds crazy but I did it and a lot of what I was visualizing came to pass (obviously it was not by magic, but by making my mind up to change my life).
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A
female
reader, Sensible Alice  +, writes (28 March 2014):
 Despite what you may feel, you're in a really good life position at the moment. You're young and unattached and I'm assuming you don't yet have any debts or mortgage. Frankly I bet there are a million people who'd love to be in your shoes. Basically the world is your oyster. You don't have to stay in a job you hate. I know you said you worked abroad, but have you thought of working where the need for a teacher is greatest? It might not be that you dislike teaching, but just find that it's not rewarding (heck, teachers are so disrespected and taken for granted these days). In the poorer countries kids really want to learn and no education means a life of poverty or worse. You could change someone's life dramatically and enrich your own - perhaps even find love. Other than that, you could pursue another degree, though there's always the possibility that you'll be unfulfilled in that career too. Have a really good think about what it is you'd love to do and just go for it! Love will follow when you're settled in yourself.
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