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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hello everyone, I really need some advice. My younger sister is 13 and she is currently causing a lot of problems for my parents. I am in my 20's so there is a big age gap, but whenever I go home she almost always plays up. She swears at parents, plays us all off against each other, and doesn't like me spending time with my parents alone. It's getting to me as I went there last night and was really looking forward to it, but she caused a massive row and all I wanted to do was leave. Maybe quiet in school? But at home she is very manipulative and has zero respect for anyone. She doesn't want for anything, and she can be lovely but her mood swings are causing so much friction. My mum is worried that she may have something wrong as she is more than just a grumpy teen - she says and does things that she knows will antagonise people. I love her because she is my sister, but I dislike her when she acts up, and Im worried for my parents. Any help would be great Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2014): Thanks for the help guys, I'll give it all a try! x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2014): Take her out somewhere, OP just the two of you to do something fun and use it as a means to talk to her to find out what's going on. don't lecture her, make no accusations just let her talk and listen.
Also if you can, snoop her online profiles, she may be getting bullied by someone or people online. I don't know why but my very first thought is that she's being bullied in school or online.
Try as her older sister to reach out to her outside of your parents home. She seems to see you as an adversary and not an ally, so you need to change that. It could be something as simple as spending more time with her just you and she, doing fun stuff. But it would be worth the time and effort to connect with her, OP.
If she won't open up after a nice bit of time and trying then if I was her parent or older brother, I'd find a way to check her messages, her facebook messages, twitter etc, preferably without her knowing but if that's not possible then demanding to see those things. She's 13, and while she has a right to some privacy, protecting her comes first.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2014): I think maybe she is having an issue, which she needs help on. I'm 13 myself, I'm pretty sure I understand how people my age work. You're right, she sounds more than just a grumpy teen. You should try talking to her alone. If that doesn't work, suggest a visit to the doctors to your parents. Or get a professional councilor, or a social worker. They know how to deal with us terrible teens! lol! good luck, you'll get there in the end, i promise! x!
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2014): Truly, there's such a HUGE spectrum of teen hormonal mood swings that it's VERY likely to be just because she's 13 and frustrated at random things.It's horrible to deal with and you may not remember all of your own moody times a decade or so ago, but your parents allow her to be disrespectful and that's their choice whether you or I agree with it.That said, it couldn't hurt to try to ask her if she is struggling at school with anything and try to create a closer bond with her so she feels able to come to you if she's feeling depressed or anxious.
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