A
female
age
26-29,
*ECRET IDENTITY
writes:im 16...me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost a year have the best sex imaginable...but we rarely have it...we look up many positions,lubes, handcuffs,etc...we try it all...he wants to try anal now...im very scared to even attempt to do it but i want to because i love him and im willing to do watever makes him happy just how he does the same for me...so my question is how can i look at anal another wat so i can do it? how can i prepare for it? and what are the pros and cons?*i dnt need the lecture on sex because its too late im already having sex and im not stopping fyi* Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 February 2013):
 Dear Secret Identity,
You posted asking about getting pregnant at 16. You updated to say that you are an emancipated minor. I’m going to not address the wanting to get pregnant per se or the fact that you want help doing something that you are scared to do just to please a boy that is probably not going to be in your life in 5 years… (trust me)
I’m going to post this as I was (other than being emancipated at your age) pretty much you.
I became sexually active at 14. I was however wisely on birth control pills so that I could not get pregnant.
I could easily tell you how to make anal a more pleasant experience (not that I’s pleasant at all to be honest) Most people that receive anal sex find it uncomfortable.
Your partner MUST use a condom during anal sex. NOT because you could get pregnant (even though you could in a weird incident) but because HE can get a super nasty infection. A UTI for a woman sucks…a UTI for a guy is worse and they often will get bladder infections to go with it.
If you will talk to me about what I’m going to post here (even if you take it to private message) then I will help you address the anal issues. I doubt you will like it… but since your goal is to please this boy and keep him around I’m sure you will suck it up and deal. Are you willing to have to wear a butt plug forever? Are you willing to have your poop fall out into your panties for the rest of your life because you have destroyed your anal sphincter doing something that you don’t want to do to keep this boy?
IF you are emancipated from your parents, your home life was probably lacking. Were you abused sexually, physically or emotionally? If so, that alone speaks to why you are wanting to do scary sexual things with this boy. The fact that you want to get pregnant at 16 to fill a void you feel is also disconcerting.
I do not find you mature at all. I WAS YOU. I did everything known to man at your age sexually. It sill left me wanting and empty as an adult. Now at 52 I’ve had FOUR husbands. My goal here at DC is to prevent other young ladies such as yourself from wrecking their lives in search of love.
SEX is not love. Being pregnant at 16 is not love. Have you ever had any counseling to address these issues that are so deep seated in you, you can’t even see them?
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 February 2013):
 Aren't you the girl who never uses condoms and already got pregnant and miscarried ?.. then I'd say you are already doing a lot to please him and make him happy, you are already risking your health and future just to give him better sensations. I'd think he could be content also without anal for the time being. Also considering that he would not be using a condom during anal, right ?,.. then if after that you proceed to equallly condomless vaginal intercourse , that's some nasty infection waiting to happen.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2013): If the thought of it bothers you, you shouldn't do it, and your boyfriend should drop the subject. However, if you go ahead anyway, make sure of a few things. First, he should use lots of lube and go slowly to avoid injuring you. Second, he needs to wear a condom. Last, it should be the final sexual encounter of the evening so he doesn't give you an infection.
There are similar questions in the archives, if you want more tips.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (4 February 2013):
 The best new sex trick for you right now is to learn how to use condoms/birth control. You're still learning the absolute basics, no need to move onto very advanced things that can cause serious injury (if you do it wrong you can destroy the muscles badly enough you'll need diapers for the rest of your life, and/or need surgery).
You sound like you're doing an awful lot of pleasuring your boyfriend, not using condoms so he doesn't lose sensation, doing anal (which is painful and unpleasant for the vast majority of women), what about focusing on yourself instead for a change?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2013): Best is water based lube and putting him in u urself . its going to hurt the first few times but water based is the best lube in my opinion and i still sometimes have to lead him in with my own hand because of the pain. stopping while you get little by little In Helps as well. So do buttplugs . They stretch u out for him but only for the time being until anal becomes a normal activity and you use larger buttplugs. The part that hurts through most to me is getting it in but once hes in and thrusting it feels good.
...............................
|
