A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I wake up in the morning angry and upset. Not so long ago I had 3 jobs, on top of the 3 jobs I would also do literally everything in the house, including cooking, cleaning, washing, tidying up etc on behalf of my partner. Once he gets back from work he does literally nothing, all evening and weekend and even if he gets home early. He will even sit there stretching while watching me struggle with trying to do something. My days do not end until the night and I do not sit around at the weekends expecting things to be fetched and carried for me. Anyway, one of my jobs was temporary and ended, and I left the other one because it was part time and it wasn't enough money. I now have one job and I'm at collegee, working my way towards a certificate which means I will be able to get more hours and better pay but I worry because I know that my workload at home is not going to change. I am going to have to tell my partner that he will have to take on more responsibility and if he doesant I'm going to have to leave because he has always been controlling and manages to turn everything around so that its me whose in the wrong. I have got that impression because periodically and actually quite often he will come home and have a go at me for something that I have supposedly done wrong in the house, or haven't done to his liking. I do stand up for myself but I'm just so sick of being talked to like I'm a dog when I do it all and he does nothing. I wake up in the morning and his voice is resonating in my head, moaning and complaining. He has done this so much on top of other things that I actually feel like he behaves like some sort of pimp and treats me like a whore. If I ever try and talk all he says is " why are you with me then"? So I take it that he knows exactly what he's doing and doesant want to stop and the only way I will ever be happy is to leave him. I am so sick of waking up angry and upset.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 August 2011):
 if you are waking up sick and angry it's your cue that it's time to leave.
you can tell him "I need A.B. and C. from you staring on mm/dd/yy and if you can't provide this help then I am going to have to leave" WHEN he does not do it (and he will not because he's assuming you will continue to be a doormat for him) YOU MUST leave. that may or may not make him wake up.
either way be prepared to be alone for a bit
A
female
reader, MissAnnonimus  +, writes (17 August 2011):
 You never know what you have until you lose it-very old and very true saying.
From your story i can see that you are one hard working,persistent and enterprising woman,that has a goal in life,that can be independent and that worth too much to be treated like a dog.
Firstly you should try to talk with him one more time.Put your cards on table,and tell him that if he doesn't change you will leave.
And asking ''Why are u with me than?'' is absolutely ridiculous,cause you re not with him cause of fact that u like being treated like a slave.And why is he with u then,if he treats you like that and don't care for your feelings!
If the conversation doesn't work out,think about what YOU want,about YOUR happiness,if YOU want to deal with that in your best years and that YOU deserve someone who will know how to respect you.
But i wish you luck and all the best ;) and hope you will save your relationship,cause money and job are important but there are some things that can't be bought!
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A
male
reader, GRIFF TANNEN +, writes (17 August 2011):
 I see 2 simple options,
1. Dump his arse and leave him.
2. or do NOTHING more around the house. After just one week of no washing/cooking/cleaning/etc he'll already get the picture. You're NOT his slave. Household work is an entire job in it's self!
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