A
female
age
26-29,
*aandaaOlveraa
writes:My mom and i arent getting along, when we're alone its constant arguing and when my grandmother is around its like she wants to diappaer me. the worst part is she doesnt like my boyfriend, and im pregnant with his baby, but she doesnt know that yet. i dont understand why shes acting like this, i feel so stressed out. please, tell me what you think i should do..
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (11 December 2010):
 I agree with confusedWITHLOVE. If you're going to keep the baby, you need to tell your mom you are pregnant.
Having a child when you are young will present you with obstacles, but it doesn't mean that life stops or that your future is doomed. It simply means you have additional obstacles. My son was born when I was a teen and his mom was 16. We didn't last much longer after his birth, but what we did have was our commitment to his raising. We worked together. He has now finished his first semester of college. Over the years we had our share of obstacles. His mom, being a single parent, spent 10 years to complete a 4 year degree, but did it. That's just an example of how life may change, but your goals can still be met.
Just never say you can't because you have a child. Use having a child as your motivation to say you can.
Take care.
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (11 December 2010):
 It is pretty normal for mothers to have verbal arguments with their teenage daughters. It is a wrestle of power as you are growing up and becoming more independent. She doesn't like your boyfriend because she thinks he risks your education and future...he distracts you from school and she worries you are having sex very young. Sure enough her worries are justified as you are very young to be pregnant. Frankly you need to tell your mother about the baby right away and get antenatal medical care as soon as possible. You may think your mother and grandmother are a pain right now but if you are going to have a baby so young then you will need them. Babies are hard work and having family around to help out is so important. If you are old enough to be having a baby, you are old enough to find the courage to tell your mother about this. Of course she is going to flip...no parent wants to hear their child is having a child at such a young age. But she will come around and it might help to get your gran on-side too. She argues with you because you are being rebellious and she loves you. She may have a poor way of expressing it but all the arguments are because she is looking out for you. Put the swords down and start talking.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010): maybe she is trying to look out for you. even if she is doing it in a bad way. she will care about you a lot.
hopefully she will support you, i wish you the best of luck with the baby!
xx
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A
female
reader, ConfusedWITHlove +, writes (11 December 2010):
I went through a situation like this. I got pregnant with my boyfriend when i was 15... your best thing to do is come out and tell your mom. she's not going to like it at first, try to keep you from seeing him, telling you not to keep the baby, and giving you every reason in the world why you cant take care of it. It is very VERY hard to take care of a baby that young. but she WILL come around, you are her daughter, it may actually bring you to closer together. You have to look at your moms point of view also. She's raising a teenage girl, who is serious with her boyfriend, its stressful for her to, she probably doesn't know how to take it. Just try to take to her about how you to have been fighting, maybe cook her dinner just you to and sit and talk. it may surprise you.
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