A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:4 and a 1/2 years ago we moved house and I was very happy. When we met the neighbours I thought nothing of it. Then one day the neighbour came round to fix the fence. I was standing in the kitchen and turned around and he was staring in the window and me feeding my son as if he was mesmerized. I thought it was a bit strange but thought nothing of it. Then they invited us around for a bbq and when I went in there we chatted with him and completely unexpectetly I had the sensation of falling in love, I saw stars and everyone faded into the background (I always thought that stuff was a load of tosh and didn't really happen). After that I would bump into him quite a lot and I thought he was watching me. I couldn't stop thinking about him. Eventually they moved and I was relieved because I thought the feeling would go. But we're years on now and I can't stop thinking about him. I know he wouldn't be attracted to me any longer as I have been sick and it has made me look really, really ugly. Because he's a plumber I have his phone number and tried phoning him because I wanted to hear his voice and have sent him a message on my space but he hasn't replied. We are both married and I love my husband but I am "in love" with him. I need him to reject me so I can move on. Is it wrong for me to try to contact him? Should I just let sleeping dogs lie after all he has probably forgotten about me anyway..... How can I forget about him?
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (31 May 2008):
 Yes, it's wrong to contact him because you're not trying to check up on your old neighbor, you're trying to hook up with another man. One would be an innocent coincidence and the other would be a devious plan.
Look at it from another angle. You were attracted to him. So what? We have attractions all the time. Are you going to act on all the attractions you feel in life. If so, you'll never have much of a relationship with anybody.
You don't sound really happy. Try to boost your spirits and get through mid life with your integrity in tact.
A
female
reader, malvern  +, writes (31 May 2008):
 Effectively he has already rejecetd you by not replying. Don't waste your time. I've done similar things myself in the past and all you end up doing is upsetting yourself. You would be better off by throwing his telephone number away and moving forward with your life. What happened, happened, but now it's all in the past and gone forever.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): You fell "in love" with this man and have tried to contact him. He hasn't responded, so you can accept that this is the rejection that your looking for. No matter how he feels or how you think he feels, he is married and is not willing to put his marriage at risk.
You need to concentrate on fixing your marriage. Doing things with your husband that makes you feel better. You married him, you must have loved him once. Do things that you used to do, try to do all the romantic things that you know you should do. You've been sick and feel really ugly, it's no wonder your looking for a little reassurance to feel sexy and desirable again.
But your looking in the wrong direction. Try to find that spark again with your husband and with yourself. Force yourself to be beautiful, force yourself to feel lovely. Pamper yourself and give yourself the love that you would give to this man if he's available.
This Article may help http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-to-get-over-your-ex.html. Most usefull suggestion is to keep yourself busy until your feelings change or pass away.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): It's a mid life crisis. Let is be. You do not want to start over now, do you?
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