A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in need of advice, constructive critisim, and feedback. Please do not tell me how terrible of a person I am. I already know this. I have beat myself up emotionally for years now. I can't get away from these feelings, so here is my story.I became attracted to my BF's wife about 2 years ago. I believe anyone can change their feelings and opinions but they should be able to tell you everything about that moment if they are sincere. Since I met my Bf's girlfriend/wife, I have been very attracted to her both physically and emotionally. Its very obvious that there is an attraction between us. I became friends with my BF about 10 years ago. For the first ten years of our friendship we were always together. In our late teens we started going out on the weekends to scout the town for women. we were never great at picking up girls. He pretty much rushed into his marriage and now they're fighting non-stop. I was the best man in his wedding. Everytime we are together with or without her husband their we always flirt, and there is a huge attraction.I understand I should bring this up to her but how?The part that sucks is if I do go after her I lose my Bf and pretty much the rest of my friends. Advice?What do I do???
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female
reader, rambini  +, writes (15 April 2010):
 you cant control how you feel but you can control how you act. arguing or not, they are married, they made vows in a church to be faithful to one another, and if their marriage is not working, its up to them to end it, not up to you to interfere and split them up. you need to give them space, why not be a good friend and talk to him about ways he could try to improve his marriage instead of being a shitty friend and trying to destroy it.
we are meant to be able to count on our friends, and if 10 years of friendship means little enough to you that you are willing to destroy a marriage and a family, then im glad im not your friend.
please just walk away, let them sort their own lives out, and find a woman of your own.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): Hi, plse don't go there - respect that marriage and respect your bf and plse dp not interfere. There are plenty of single/unattached women. Do Not wreck your life and yoiur friendship. Women may come and go in your life but when you betray a close friend/family member this is the ultimate betrayal. Think before you act: is your bf's wife worth it.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (6 April 2010):
 NO, you should definitely not bring this up with her. You need to stay out of their marriage and limit your contact with her as much as possible. To go after her would mean losing so much. Your friends and family will lose respect for you for taking your best friend's love and breaking up a marriage. Could you live with that, especially if it didn't work out?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 April 2010):
 You are not accountable for what you feel - but you are for what you DO. So don't do anything. Don't say anything to yr BF's wife.
Are you sure you want to ruin a 10 years old friendship for an "attraction" (your definition )? It may very well be that part of the attraction is just because she is the forbidden fruit. Why don't you try to hang out less with your friends and more on your own so you can meet available girls ?
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (6 April 2010):
 My advice is to back off, if there marriage isnt going to work, let it not work without your input. Limit your time with them, find a new outlet, get a hobby, build a life that doesnt include so much of this couple in it, you claim you understand you should bring it up with her, I say you shouldnt, words once spoken can never be unsaid.
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