A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Alright. Hi everyone. I know my story is a little long and complicated but if someone could give me a little clue on what to do to help me I would be realllly happy. I apologize for me mistakes because english is not my first language)Now here goes: Its been 4 years that I'm with my boyfriend he's my first true love and the first I made love with him..We spend all of our time together and we tell each other everything ..We've always had a love/hate relationship and things have been hard sometimes but we've always made it up and we truly love each other in spite of our differences . Now lately.. he has made himself this new friend...and this guys started to hang out at our place lately...And we two happens to have a lot in common...Him and I almost do the whole talking when we come and we enjoy ourselves. My bf dont care because, obviously he takes me for acquired just like I do and he would never think that I would cheat or fall for his friend because he always thought i was perfect and so pure which makes him really proud of me. Now that friend has a lot in common with my boyfriend except he is more chattering, funny and ..educated. Now this guy is kind of a player..for what I know but he seems different with me because he's always complementing me and saying that if he had found a girl like me...he wouldn't fear love that much and how my boyfriend is lucky to have me...and one time we were listening to music and he putted 3 times the song from Trey Songz called I cant help but wait which made me a little suspicious because for those who doesn't knows it its about a guy who loves a girl who's in a relationship with a guy which is violent and he know he could take care of her better than him and everything.My boyfriend is not violent but he sometimes have this more aggressive side, this grrrr side although he cant be so sweet at the same time ... now. This guy left town this weekend and he's going to be away for some months and before he left he told us how he's going to miss US and how's my bfriend is like his brother and how he likes us and everything. My boyfriend wants me to find his friend a girlfriend for when he's gonna come back!!! How could I possibly do that I'm so jealous I cant even imagine him kissing another girl than me now this is wrong and Ive tried to make up excuses and to strech up the time to see if it would pass but it didnt! My boyfriend keeps asking me and say that his friend would like me to introduce him to some girl...of my kind so that we could have a friend couple to go out with or make activities !!! And he keeps asking me about this girlfriend of mine....or that girlfriend of mine and I cant find excuses anymore he wont believe that ALL of my friends are not interested or have a boyfriend....So this is really confusing but the problem is since he left I cant STOP thinking about him I always look at this picture of him that he gave us and I dream about him and I know that it stink it is so wrong I would just like to take him away from my head and get things back the way it used to be because hes gone anyway but i cant he always keeps coming back to my mind and I keep listening to the song and i'm lost. Now lately my boyfriend and I were starting talking about kids and this is what makes me the most sad is that I don't know anymore...before I met his friend kids were the only thing that was always going to my mind but now its him and even if I could have his kids or...now this is sooo wrong and again I don't want to breakup with my boyfriend we're used to each other I don't want to make a new life which I don't even know the worth or if it would be the biggest mistake in my life I know that my boyfriend would neverrr forgive that , this is the worst thing I could never do to him, plus I dont even know if his friend would go with me he would never do this to his ''brother''. At the end i would just be the lonely bit*ch there is so much going through my mind right now now help me please I want to stay with my boyfriend I just want to get his friend out of my head FOREVER and go back to way things used to be. I just feel like breaking into tears...help
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male
reader, LoFaroNYG27  +, writes (30 January 2009):
What you are having is called an infatuation. Sure, your boyfriend's friend may be attractive to you, he may be in your head and you may be thinking about him a lot. But, what you have to ask yourself is this, when you picture yourself old and sitting in a rocking chair, who is it that you picture yourself with? To be brutally honest, if you picture yourself with anybody besides your boyfriend then it just isn't fair to him if you stay with him. Because right now he is loving you, he is planning to have children with you as you earlier stated meaning he is planning your lives together. He wants you forever. If you don't feel the same way, then in the long run it just isn't fair to him to string him along. But, if when you close your eyes and think about your future and picture your BF in it, then he really is the one. If that is the case, then your BF's friend is nothing but a crush. Even married people sometimes have sexual feelings about somebody other than their spouse. I am married to the greatest woman on earth and I love her with all my heart and soul. But I would be lying if I said I didn't have sexual thoughts about a hott chick I see in public every now and then. it's normal. You just have to ask yourself the question, who do you want to be with for the rest of your Life? Who can you not live without. Who gives you that warm feeling inside whenever you are around them, that feeling that you know you are exactly where you are meant to be. answer those questions and you will know what to do.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot moviefan this is actually a really got trick im gonna try it from now on. I just didnt get what you meant when you said ''And try to find him someone else becuase once he has someone lese it could make it better, but it may also just make things worse. But if you are as emotionally frustrated as u say u shouldnt get any worse if u do this. Only better'' where you talking about my bf or his friend im confused. but anyway thanks a lot and just so you know his friend called today to have some news about us and my boyfriend wasnt there and i tried to make the conversation brief and it actually was good for me and when i hanged up i went back to do what i was doing just before he called like nothing happen without thinking about him i was really proud of myself. I alaso figured out that maybe I was tempted by something i couldnt have, people are always tempted by was is forbiden but i dont like it I dont want to be that person and ive also figured out that if ever Im gonna leave my boyfriend which i dont thing would and i dont want to happen im gonna find somebody on my own I mean if you believe in the concept that there is in this world that one and only special person for you how many chances are that this is the friend of your current boyfriend I just need to calm myself and as you said be happy of what i have i mean i am really lucky to have my boyfriend. Ill just start working on your trick and I know its gonna take sometime but ill make it and I just hope this feelings wont come back with him when he comes back into town because if so im gonna have to find another trick anyway thanks a lot again to you..
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A
male
reader, Moviefan +, writes (24 January 2008):
 Well what i did to get a girl out of my head that i had to get over and it seems to have worked was to think about all the negatives about the person you do not want to be atracted to anymore. And in yourcase think about all the good things about your current boyfriend. And stop listening to that song. That will just make you think of him more. And try to find him someone else becuase once he has someone lese it could make it better, but it may also just make things worse. But if you are as emotionally frustrated as u say u shouldnt get any worse if u do this. Only better.
Just think about what you already have and not what you can have. And think about all time and trust you will loose if you do something with his friend. And just tell yourself its lust and that what you already have is more important then what you will gain by taking this unecessary risk.
If you think negative about your boyfriends friend it will kill the emotions in most cases.
Good Luck
If you want someone to talk to feel free to private message me im on here at least a few hours a day.
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