A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem. I am a 18 year old male an have a crush on another male. But here is where the problem comes in, I am definitely NOT gay! For one, I am a Christian, two I have better values than that. And three, I do not want to even think about the thought of being a homosexual. But, I can't shake this feeling past me. Ralph Waldo Emerson once had a strange attraction to another male and I truly think this is just a phase and will pass. But I have had times where I masturbate to a hot girl and end up coming to him if you know what I mean. I want to tell him how I feel about him but don't want to make our friendship awkward. Besides, what would all of my friends think of me if I told a guy I liked him? That would put me in a strange position. So I have to ask myself which is more important: Exploring my sexual identity or moving on and getting married continue living a straight life? Can I have some advice? Should I tell him and face the consequences and admit that I have a homosexual relationship or continue living my normal day-to-day life having the thought in my head and never telling him?
View related questions:
christian, crush Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, AvgGuy1 +, writes (30 June 2010):
This is how it all started out with me too... and I'm gay. I had one crush after another... on guys. Girls... never. I eventually came to the self-acceptance stage that I was gay. I too, was VERY religious. And, just because you think you have better values doesn't mean you can't be gay. Values and Religion have nothing to do with it... other giving you self-hating thoughts.
If you are gay or bi, i.e. you continue to have crushes on guys - rather than girls, and you find yourself dwelling more on guys then hopefully you'll come-out to yourself... and begin to accept and like yourself for who you really are.
If, on the other hand, it turns out you like girls more... Well then you won't have to deal with all the social stigmata that comes along with being gay/bi.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2010): You have hormones raging through your body. And, if you're being a good Christian, you probably don't have a girl in your life to help with those hormones. That makes for a tough situation.Look, you might be gay. More likely you're just overwhelmed with hormones, and your sexual identity won't be settled until you've had a chance to try things out. Given your circumstances, I'd not say anything just yet. Think of it this way -- your church and your community will have a problem if you have relations with a girl before marriage, but they'll get over it because so many other people do. Try that. If it doesn't work out, if you're sure you're gay afterward, then fine, come out. But coming out will damn you in their eyes beyond redemption. Dumb thing to do if you're not sure, don't you think?
...............................
|
