A
female
age
22-25,
*ilshawty
writes:Okay, I'm 13 and I'm a girl and my girlfriend is 15 she tells me she wants me to get a toung ring so I can eat her out . But were BOTH virgins nd I feel that I should finger her first befor I eat her out but I don't know how to tell her or know if she wants me to ?. I need advise on how to tell her i thing eating her out is to far for the first time and I think fingering would be better untill she knows that were both ready for me to eat her out ??? Can anyone help me?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 April 2013):
 Please ask the mods to remove your birthday honey.. folks can find you on an internet search more easily
the fact that you will be 14 this month (same birthday as my son btw) does not change my feelings that you should go slow.
I know you feel ready but I will tell you that my former stepdaughter was 15 when she started her experimentation (with our knowledge since she needed Birth Control Pills and I took her to the doctor for them) and a year later she was actually sorry she was in such a rush and had not waited...
IF you feel Ready then NOTHING we say will stop you. And I understand that.
SO I will say this instead:
your gf TELLING you to get a tongue ring to please her is not a good sign. She doesn't even KNOW if she will like it... is she always so bossy with you? that's not good esp. because she's a bit older (when will she be 16?)
you do realize you have contradicted yourself totally in your follow up.
in your original post you said:
"I need advise on how to tell her i thing eating her out is to far for the first time"
and yet in your follow up you said:
"I feel as I'm ready and I know how to ask her I'm just the shy type."
so which is it... your not ready and want us to help you tell her how you are not ready
or you're ready and you are shy.
so what is it you really need help with?
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 April 2013):
 http://www.dearcupid.org/question/thought-my-gf-broke-up-with-me-but.html
Definitely do NOT get a tongue piercing (you'd need parental consent first anyway) and do NOT do anything sexual with her.
It's all a very bad idea. If you wait until you are old enough to have sex legally, you'll be a LOT better off. This is one of those times we old people say 'trust us,' because you know what? We've been there.
Those who started too soon almost always regret it later.
Those who wait? No regrets on that at all.
You already don't trust her.
This has disaster written all over it. Don't do it.
Talk to your Mom.
Old people were teenagers once too. We remember what it feels like to have all these crazy thoughts and the desire to do things. We are also old enough to figure out when NOT to do things…..
Now is the wrong time. Really and truly, it's a very bad idea.
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A
female
reader, lilshawty +, writes (18 April 2013):
lilshawty is verified as being by the original poster of the question I will be 14 [at the end of this month] . I feel as I'm ready and I know how to ask her I'm just the shy type . Well were both shy .
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (18 April 2013):
Dear OP-
First of all, what is a tongue ring (is that a piercing?) and why in the world does your girlfriend think you need one for oral sex?? I've been in a lesbian relationship for a long time and had oral sex (and received it) and I've been very happy without anything like that :) So, you can really turn down this request, it's absolutely not necessary to buy whatever that is.
Second, please don't do anything you don't feel comfortable doing. I agree with you that it's more intimate to have oral sex with someone than to touch them with your hands. Look, she's a virgin as well, so she probably has some ideas of how this should work but she obviously doesn't know anything more than you. Maybe it would be interesting to know where she got her ideas from?
Really take this slow. And if you don't have any form of sex, that's really okay. I don't want to sound like an old lady but at your age I didn't do anything more than kissing (no tongue) and holding hands.
One of the most difficult challenges in my (sex) life has been to talk about what I want and what I don't want. This is so important, though. Start to practise this immediately and talk to her, tell her what you told us.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (18 April 2013):
 You just need to talk to her. Tell her how you feel. You can't be in a relationship if you aren't going to speak your mind. It is so easy that the one partner stays silent and is unhappy, while the other takes control and "rules" the relationship. But such a relationship will be unhappy, and will end. For a relationship to be good you need to be equals. That means that you also get a vote in what's being said and done, and you get to decide what YOU should or shouldn't do. She doesn't get to decide that. You should talk and agree to things together.
That being said, I think you should wait with sex. Yes, it is natural to want to experiment, but how long have you been together? If you rush into sex in a relationship, then the relationship becomes only about sex. You need to build up a good foundation, and a friendship, before you introduce sex. Especially at your age it is important to wait, because she is older than you. At 15, she's feeling more ready. But that's 2 years ahead of you.. So you need at LEAST year more in a relationship with her before you're at the same stage. Otherwise you'll just do as she says and do things you're uncomfortable with. Look, you don't want to give her oral sex (yet) but you don't even know how to tell her. So you are definitely not ready to go there yet.
Tell her how you feel, and experiment with other things first, like kissing, touching with the clothes on etc, until YOU feel comfortable. Do not let anyone put pressure on you to do anything you don't want to. There is a time and place for everything, and you will know when it is right, because when it is right you will have no doubts.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 April 2013):
I don't think girls can get Blue Balls CMMP....
OP you are too young to be considering this... NOT because you are 13 (although that's part of the reason) but rather you are not even able to figure out how to talk to you gf about it.
I have never had anyone with mouth jewelery perform cunnilingus (that's the PROPER TERM for oral sex performed on a woman) and I never had an issue.
I do not think you are even old enough to think that "third base" (petting below the waist) is acceptable.
If I told you to talk to your mother about it, you would freak out.... because you are 13... and too young and too embarrassed by it... sex is normal and natural and fun and delightful for folks old enough to understand it.
IF you become sexual now, (I lost my virginity at 14) I will promise you that it will not be the magic you think.
Be very cautious with the depth of your experimentation.
the slower you go at your age the better.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (18 April 2013):
The fact that your girlfriend thinks you need a "toung" ring to go down on her (eat her out is vulgar, fyi) is proof that you guys aren't ready for the whole thing.
Throughout history people have grown up a lot faster than they do now. People would start making babies are 13-15 years old and so we evolved to be capable to do so and have the desire for sex at a young age. But this happened because people only lived to be 30-35 years old, so they didn't have a lot of time.
Obviously, things have changed. Kids still have the desire for sex at that young age, but doing so can be a disaster. When I was your age I was curious to say the least, but I felt like I just wasn't ready, not to mention the sexual complications like disease and pregnancy. She is a little closer to the age when having your first experience makes a little bit more sense. You, however are too young to do anything but heavy petting. If you go down on her, it won't be long before you're having sex, trust me.
Also, beware of 'blue balls'. If you have an erection for awhile and don't come it can result in painfully sore testicles.
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A
female
reader, sassy38 +, writes (18 April 2013):
Reading this message bothered me a little because i am the parent of a 13 year old girl.I think 13 is to young to be experimenting with sex.the best thing would be to wait until you're older you have plenty of time to have sex, take your time and growing up. ITS OK TO BE YOUNG AND INNOCENT.SASSY38
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A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (18 April 2013):
 I think at 13 you definitely need to take it very slow and at a pace you feel comfortable with. Saying no to your girlfriend will be hard but it is better than how you will feel if you go too far too quickly.
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A
male
reader, MAX D  +, writes (18 April 2013):
 Please think about what you are thinking of doing you are, only 13 years old still a child,having your first sexual experence it something that you will rember for the rest of your life weather its with a girl or a boy ,it is very importaint that you have thought seriously about this and explaine to your friend how you are feeling .The other point is your friend is 15 all most grown up and she should know better as I said you are still a child again give this very serious thought please and do not be forced into anything by any of your friends ,love to know how things worked out take care hope I HAVE BEEN HELPFULL MAX D .
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