A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Just over 4 months ago my girlfriend and I split up.we had been together for 2 years. For the last couple I thought things were not right but didn't say anything. I was convinced that she had met some else and finished with her. The next day I tried to reconcile but all she would say is it's over I have moved on within a week she said she was in a new relationship. Since then I tried to speak with her but she refused to see me or even speak . I resorted to emailing her but she would either ignore or reply very abrutley . I had to send some emails onto her as they involved her son - so ensured they were passed on. She never acknolowledged them unroll the last one when she said thanks and asked how I was after I told her how much I missed her the emails stopped I have seen her once since then and she treated me with no emotion at allI love her very much and miss her but most of all I can't understand why she cannot bear to see me or communicate in a civil way I am lost and really do not know what to do
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male
reader, softtouchmale2003  +, writes (6 September 2009):
 Women have a way of doing two things the first of which is simply ignoring a guy. Whatever you had, she's over it and you. So she's going to be cold towards you and not really care.
Right now you're just another guy piled up in the ex-bin.
The second thing is, she's more interested in finding someone else and doesn't want you cluttering up her life anymore.
All that being said, I would have to say whatever it was, she probably was not in love with you by the time you broke up. So to her, this was not a big loss.
Your best bet is simply move on and find someone else who will maintain a relationship with you and remember you have to do the same thing. If you let things slide, your woman's going to start thinking there's something wrong with you.
Last but not least, hard breakups are bad. People say things to each other in the heat of the moment, mostly in pain and frustration, and though it was not meant to hurt, it hurts anyway. So they carry around that pain too. If anything, its an incentive for her to run.
Maybe in time she'll forgive the things that were said at the end, and think of you as someone nice instead of someone angry and frustrated.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2009): You broke up with her and after two years this indicates the relationship is clearly over.
She doesn't want to speak to you because it probably still hurts her a great deal to see you and think about what went wrong and if she has moved on to another relationship with someone else, then she doesn't want to create a triangle for herself and her romantic partner.
I think you will just have to accept that this is over and try your best to move on.
A very similar thing happened to me after a two year relationship and it was very painful and confusing. But when I think about all of the reasons why I needed to let him go, I know it is for the best. What kept me stuck is remembering how he could also behave as the love of my life and it is hard to fathom how anyone who you trusted so much could ever betray you, but he did, he treated me very poorly and did not want to take any responsibility for his actions or for contaminating our relationship.
This lack of taking responsibility is part of the reason we rarely speak after 6 months of being apart, and this may be her deal, too, she doesn't want to take any responsibility for the break up or for you being hurt and she wants to just avoid you and the feelings it brings up, which is actually the thing to do if you plan to move on with your life.
I hope you will stop looking at the past with rose colored glasses and remember that you were unhappy in this relationship and there is a very good reason the two of you ended things.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2009): you should have asked her what was wrong with her before you jumped to conclution and broke up with her..i guess she is hurt by you and needs time to digest things, i think you should give her some space, and apologies for breaking up with her and tell her what you want but also tell her that you would respect her decision whatever she decidesBEst of luck =)
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