A
female
age
36-40,
*adabryant21
writes:Hello everyone... thank you for reading my issues and thank you even more for those who respond to them... So I have been out of my long term relationship for about 20 days and my ex continues to call me about 3 times everyday. I cant deny it I really miss him, somedays more than others. I have heard from his sister that he is really going through a hard time and that he has no job cant affor the rent or car payment and has child support to pay! I feel really bad for him; I really wish I could help. But I feel that he's only looking for me cause he needs me to get him back on his feet like I always did. I really took good care of him... unitl he decided to be a jerk, do whatever he wanted, and talk to other girls... What do you guys suggest I do... I really miss him... but is he just using me???
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male
reader, Anonymousmale1 +, writes (17 September 2009):
 Jadabryant21, you sound like a very intelligent young woman. However, the man you once were with sounds like his life is in shambles. Why is it your responsibility to take care of him? Reading you post I get the feeling that you are very responsible and when you mentioned "Child support" it tells me that he is really irresponsible. He had probably the most wonderful woman in the world (you), and it wasn't enough for him. Now that you've moved on he now realises this, but it's his fault and his burden to carry. You can help him if you like, however are you really doing him any good? Probably not! He needs to learn that all actions, positive or negative come with consequences. He needs to learn how to stand on his own two feet, he's a man and a father to boot. What type of example is he setting for the child that he helped bring into this world?Losing his apartment and car, these could be very good things for him to lose and maybe he will put his priorities in order and get a better outlook on life.You however should consider yourself lucky. That could easily have been you with his child and would you be happy knowing that he is not responsible enough to take care of his son/daughter without the help of another woman?Stop feeling bad for him and feel happy for yourself. You're free from all the headaches, drama, fixing his screw-up and basically taking care of him like you were his mother.A smart, beautiful, caring, loving woman like you deserve a man who will treat you the way you should be treated, with dignety, loyalty and respect. You deserve a man who is actually a man, one who is a partner, friend, lover and more to you. So enjoy your new found freedom, theres a real man out there somewhere waiting for you. You just need to cut the cord to your past and find him.Oh, and anytime you start to feel sorry for your ex, come back here and read this letter. Hopefully it'll help you suppress the urge and concentrate on youself and your needs.P.S. You may want to change your number or stop taking his or his sisters calls. Just a thought.Sincerely,Anonymousmale1
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