A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with the first boyfriend i ever had almost a month ago. I am 15 i was with him for 6 months, i have never felt so strongly about a boy as i did with him, he took my viriginity, and at alot of different points in our relationship i felt we could of been together forever. However things did not work out like that, and unfortunely he fell into a rough patch, shortly after he cheated on me. He was declared as homeless due to some family troubles, and turned to drugs and drink and went down the wrong route. He ended it with me shortly after being violent towards me, and i agreed with his decsion, but he then spent the next 3 or so weeks, litterally almost stalking me and begging me to get back with him stating he had changed. I said no and stood my ground after alot of different threats from him and i think now finially he has gone away. However, i am now in a rather tricky situation. Through all of the stuff that has happened over the last month one person was there to help me through all of it even though at the time I barely knew him. Since all of this, i have started to develop feelings for him simply because he has stuck by me through out it all, my ex has threatened him, kicked his door in, in an attempt to beat him up, sent him all sorts of abuse, all because of me. Most people would of just stopped talking to the person who all the trouble was about but he didn't, he stuck by me through out it all. He has started to develop feelings for me too, and we have even had a kiss and well he makes me feel special. He wants to be with me, and i want to be with him too, however to do with the current situation i am still scared, about what my ex might do if he finds out we are together, not to mention is too soon for another relationship? I believe i am over him now, just to do with how horrible he has acted towards me and my friends, and well i don't have any love left for him. However i do every now and then just wonder how hes doing, or wish maybe i could just check up on him to see if hes okay. I never do do it, but sometimes i just wonder. But i just want to know what other people think about this, this new boy really makes me feel happy, he makes me feel protected too, and after i experienced the feeling of being pyhsically hurt by somebody who claimed to love you, i have falling into his arms even more simply because he makes me feel safe. Is it to early for another relationship? Should i be worried about what my ex might do if he finds out or should i just hope its all ended and do what feels right? Thanks for reading.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2012): Thanks for sharing ur story . I lost my virginity at 15 but became sexually active at 13. It's all a blur now and just messy memories . I was with a guy for 4 years and I broke up with him, 4 months later I met a guy and we have been married for 12 years years now . So I don't think its too early to begin dating again. Always have ur guard up, think positive, be strong and stay in school. Get a career so u want have to depend on no one. Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2012): Everyone has different views on how long you should wait before embarking on a new relationship. Some are, in my opinion, foolish and want to dive straight into another relationship, whilst others are more cautious and prefer to give it some time. So, with that said, I believe that only you can really decide if you're ready and willing to embark on this (or any) new relationship.However, I would suggest erring on the side of caution. Sometimes, after breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, people end up having so-called "rebound relationships", which just don't work out (believe me, I've had those a few times) and just ends up hurting them even more than they are already by the break-up. Also, you may think you feel strongly for someone else because you are subconsciously trying to make up for the shortcomings of your previous failed relationship.If, perhaps a few weeks or months down the line, you still feel the same way for this guy, then I wish you the best of luck together.Neither of you should feel scared about your ex - at the end of the day, if needs must, you could always involve the Police who could give him a warning for harassment.To conclude though, do remember that you are still young, and undoubtedly have many many years ahead of you to perhaps find Mr. Right - I'd strongly recommend you concentrate on your education more than love/romance/sex, because what you learn in school (and perhaps college and university) really does help you in future life...and that's me talking from experience!
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A
female
reader, MissTellAll  +, writes (2 September 2012):
 I think you should wait until your ex is completely gone and has been for a few months (which I know seems like forever but it is not) and then if after all of the drama you still want to be with him, and he with you, go for it.I have done this before, and so have a few of my friends andthe problem in this is that you could realize that you only like him because he took care of you, or he only liked you because you were in trouble. Also, be wary of ny guy who comes for you when you're unstable. A lot of times, but not always, they end up being controlling or having ulterior motives.I'm not saying that you should definitely not date him, but give yourself time to heal and be wary entering a new relationship. They can be scary thing, but remember they can also be beautiful.Best of luck :)
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