A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex-girlfriends has...1. Broke up with me more than 40 times in one year2. Talk to her ex-boyfriend almost daily while in a relationship with me3. Been physical agressive4. shouted at me, at home and in the street5. Put men in the house to talk to them at night while I was not there (she says is just her collegues and students)6. Lied constantly7. Abandon me to live in another city for the last 3 monthsand I...1. Never did any of those things to her (not even once)2. Have been sick since we broke up3. Think about her daily from morning to night4. Stopped replying to her for the last 3 monthsNow...1. She took a plane and came to knock on my door by surprise to say she loves me and ask me for another chance2. she says she is sorry for everything and that she regrets what she did3. she says she's willing to do anything to be with me again4. She says I'm the man of her life and she never loved anyone before and never willSHOULD I GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE OR NOT ???
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 December 2010):
 No.
Of course she says she's changed and won't do it again !
How could she reel you back in if she told you " I am gonna treat you like s..t same as before and worse "?
You may object that everybody deserves a second chance , and I agree with some exceptions, one of which is physical aggression.
Th in my book is a total dealbreaker. If she ever as much as laid a finger on you - you should not have stayed with her after that, and you should not get back with her now.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): She's just going to do it all again? Is this how you want to live? Give yourself a chance to find a person to enjoy life with
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): wow, and I thought *my* relationship has been f-ed up in the past... darling, you need to tell her to hit the road jane, that is just awful awful beyond words, what you just described, my heart aches for you, you poor thing, this girl is not a girl she's some kind of evil thing...
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A
female
reader, Battista  +, writes (5 December 2010):
Please don't give her another chance. If she really loved you she would never have done all those awful things to you. She doesn't deserve a second chance. With a past record like that I would be extremely surprised if she managed to leave all of that stuff behind and completely alter her behaviour.
You need to move on and find someone who respects you. Most people would never dream of doing the things which you have listed in your post. Don't let her back in to your life. I know you say you miss her, but you have to move forward from this destructive chapter in your life, and put an end to it properly.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): No therapy, no relationship. Thats what you have to tell her, and it will be a good way to see if she means it. If she does really love you, she will be happy to do that because she will be improving herself AND getting the guy she loves back. If she doesn't its just another lying and manipulating woman, and just be glad you got out of it before you got married or engaged. A lot of guys pretend those things aren't there until its too late.
It sucks but if you REALLY think about it, you'll see she is a cold hearted manipulator who loves you and the relationship because you don't make her change. As long as her needs are met its awesome, but when you have needs she abuses you or mistreats you I am guessing.
She is just a selfish and uncaring person, and you're the kind of guy she feels will always take her back so she doesn't care about your feelings
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): it makes me wonder if she has been dumped or rejected elsewhere. She isnt worth thinking about. She lies and who wants to be involved with a liar? She see s you as a soft touch and thats all there is to it. Remember she tells lies so dont believe all she tells you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): No of course not, she's said all these things before hasn't she? Each time she's hit you or left you she came crawling back saying she was sorry right?
What makes you think this time will be any different?
No let her go. If she wants to go get therapy and fix this then she has to do alone. You're her enabler, she can't heal while still in the middle of a relationships with you.
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A
female
reader, eternallyinfinite  +, writes (5 December 2010):
She sounds pretty crazy, abusive. Were you happy with her? Or are you worried that you will be alone?
I would take her back only if she went into counselling and fixed her issues :/
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): i'd say you should sit her down and talk with her. tell her exactly what you wrote on here. tell her the things she did and why they hurt you so badly. if she seems sincere give her one more chance, but make it the last chance. if she does anything again then i'd say to end it, hope i helped
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