A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend was really busy yesterday and wasn't sure if he could make it over to see me like he said he would, but that he'd definitely see me today. He asked me to call him at a particular time to arrange everything and said if he didn't answer to call back, and again if he couldn't pick up he'd call me when he could. He said if I didn't want to be the one to call he'd just call me.Well, that time was 24 hours ago now, and I did call, and when he didn't answer or call back within the half hour I called again, and then left it and waited to hear from him. He never called, and though he'd promised multiple times to see me today it seems like he's not going to.I've looked up a few articles on what to do and not do when your boyfriend doesn't call, and they all seem ridiculous to me. They're all about playing games and being fake when he does call, and while I understand it would be important not to give out to or interrogate him when he does call, I think it's ridiculous to pretend like him not calling is a non-issue. It's disrespectful behaviour and acting as though it isn't seems to me to just encourage people to treat you disrespectfully.So what is the mature and healthy way to handle this? What sort of things should I be saying when he does call? And considering that he hasn't so far I expect that he's now scared to, so after how long of not hearing from him should I contact him, and in what way? I was expecting that he'd at least come on Facebook or Skype and send me a message there, but he hasn't been online at all.Thanks so much for your advice and opinions on this!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI waited until an hour after the latest he could've possibly gotten home from work, thinking maybe he was called in unexpectedly. No answer so I sent him an email. Hopefully he'll call me tomorrow, double-hopefully before he checks his email... Thanks again for your help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much for your sound advice, much appreciated! He doesn't have voicemail and I don't have a mobile so we can't text and I can't leave him messages. I wouldn't want to call him and if he doesn't answer send him an email, because in my mind that's contacting him twice and seems a little desperate or pushy. So should I call and if he doesn't answer go back to waiting, or email..? Thanks again!
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much for your sound advice, much appreciated! He doesn't have voicemail and I don't have a mobile so we can't text and I can't leave him messages. I wouldn't want to call him and if he doesn't answer send him an email, because in my mind that's contacting him twice and seems a little desperate or pushy. So should I call and if he doesn't answer go back to waiting, or email..? Thanks again!
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