A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I'm very confused in the behavior of my ex girlfriend and her family, in general. I stopped talking to her/being her friend, because I feel she isn't worth keeping in my life, any more. And, I also needed to do something for ME, so I could better recover emotionally. Anyways, in public, whenever I encounter her, I hate it, as when I see her in my eyes, she gives me a negative reaction if I look at her, or not.For example, she'll frown a lot, and I'll get the feeling that someone's watching me. I look, and I see her with a huge frown on her face. She's not showing any reaction with her lips, other than the lips closed, and doing their thing in the making of the frown.And, when I DO look at her in public, she looks away, like she's in pain. I swear, she's really getting on my nerves. I don't want to have a dramatic episode, such as if my parents and I meet my ex and her family. What will everyone think if they see our reactions to one another? (Mine is very simple. I cross my arms at the mere sight of her.).I've also seen how her mother reacts when she sees me. If she's in a car, she waves at me, all happy, like. But, if I'm entering a store and she's just exiting, my ex's Mom puts her head down, as if it was too heavy. Judging by that, I'm not sure how my ex's Dad will react?Now, I'm just wondering.... why are they acting like this? I mean, they KNOW I don't work out, and, these people are very active. I'm pretty certain that they could gang up on me and beat me up, if they wished. But, they show to be the exact opposite - they're acting submissive rather than aggressive/dominant over me.Any replies will be greatly appreciated. Thanks, in advance. Marc.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (19 June 2012):
 Okay so she hurt you.. That still doesn't explain why you think her family is going to gang up on you and beat you. And it doesn't explain why you are so focused on how she treats you now, or why you care, or why you are dedicating your time and energy into analyzing her facial expressions.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2012): No, I don't want drama. But, I prefer things done the right way. The fact that she couldn't do it face to face is an indicator that she had no self-confidence. And, lying about the break up reasons? Honestly? That's just sad! I really hope that I never have any encounters with her. She really hurt me so bad, that I think I may have PTSD, due to that!
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (18 June 2012):
You sound like you want drama. Being dumped by text isn't dramatic. Maybe you need to have some real drama happen before you understand that this is not dramatic at all. An sms is the least dramatic way anyone can get dumped. A face to face lash out is by far more dramatic, yet you sound like you are snubbed because you couldn't get face to face drama. And then you dramatically announce that you will never talk to her again because she can't be trusted.
She's not your girlfriend. You don't have to trust her. Why would you? Not talking to her however has nothing to do with her lies or whatnot. You can say "hi" to her even if she can't be trusted, just don't give her your bank details you know. Big difference there.
Just move on from her. Hate her, refuse to talk to her, feel humiliated by the way she dumped you.. that's all perfectly fine. By why care so much about her facial expressions?
Your ex sound like the least dramatical person on earth. Any drama loving person would do a face to face breakup and then throw a few glasses around or make out with your best friend or something. Not just send you a break up text, and then ignore you. That's plain vanilla.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2012): There's been SOME drama as she dumped me. She did it in the WORST fashion you can imagine. She did it by MSN, and, yet, she LIED to me, on the Internet about the reason she was dumping me, while performing the atrocious act.
I'm always one to want honesty and closure, if something bad's happening. Yet, neither things happened, which is why I decided to never talk to my ex, in my life. She can't be trusted!
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (18 June 2012):
Oh get over it. So you're not best friends with your ex, well who is. Is this your first break-up, by chance? Because this is how all exes are towards each other, in general. Has there been a big dramatic scene so far? No? Then what makes you think there will be?
I'm with Cindy, you are over-thinking this. So you ignore her and she ignores you back, I don't see why you think this is so odd or difficult to understand. You are only getting in return what you give her... and it's all OK as well, because it is rare for exes to be friendly and happy happy when they meet each other. Often there is a lot of pain involved, and especially if the relationship ended on bad terms.
She's only getting on your nerves because you still have feelings for her. If you were over her you'd not give a crap about what she does or what way she looks at you. And quite frankly, if it bothers you so much to see her "frown" then look away. It's not harder than that.
And why on earth would they want to gang up on you and beat you? That's a really odd thing to expect, or even guess at. What makes you think you are worth such bother? Did you deserve a beating or something, did you rape your ex? Did you steal their drug or something...? Like Cindy said, are they the Sopranos? If not then... why on earth would they bother beating you up?
Listen, relationships end. People aren't expected to be happy happy with each other once the relationship ends. People move on. You stopped talking to her and she's ignoring you back. No one is going to beat you. Everything is as normal. Just move on and stop focusing on this, it doesn't matter how the react or don't react. The relationship is over and your connection to these people has been broken.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 June 2012):
 You are way way overthinking this. Why would your ex 's family should gang up on you ? Who are they, the Sopranos?...
They are acting neither dominant nor submissive, they simply don't like you that much, for the simple fact that you stopped talking to their daughter, i.e. snubbed her , even if possibly with good cause. They obviously won't go out of their way to be nice to you and also won't go out of their way to show you hatred and contempt - it's not such a big deal. Therefore they'll ignore you or pretend not to see you when the circumstances make it possible, ( croded shops ) ,and be formally civil when that's a better option. According to occasions, and simply to the mood of the moment.
As for the ex gf and her lips- what do you expect, a huge Hollywood-style smile ?.. Maybe when she sees you she feels unpleasant feelings and that shows in her face. Quite normal, I 'd say. You have a negative reaction too, when you see her !
For one who needs to do something for himself and needs some distance to recover emotionally- you are still way too wrapped up into your ex's and her family's faces, moods, and body languages . You want to move on ? Then move on FOR REAL; stop giving all this attention to these people !
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