A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i attend college and i started talking to this guy as a friend. that's all i expected from it, but now.. it's grown into more. When he gave me his phone number, he also gave me his email address, and we've added each other on facebook. he told me that i could ask him/talk to him about anything and he'll respond when he can when he's on breaks at work, etc. he's a bit shy but i've noticed that over time we talk more, and we've grown to trust each other, we tell each other things that we dont tell to anyone else. Now we act like a couple. he's religious (christian) , and so am i so we are taking things slow. he goes to church and he was raised the right way, how to treat women, etc. we have a lot of the same classes together for the next year and a half, maybe more. he was even excited when we compared schedules. at school its no big secret that we can't seem to stay away from each other for long lol even the professors have taken notice! :) we're always together hanging out talking, doing something, and i always have him laughing and smiling when we do spend time together. other times when we have our space, he's just focused on his work, and seems to be a little stressed. He opens the door for me, walked me to lunch, bought me lunch, drinks, etc. gotten my jacket for me when i was cold, spent a lot of nights together talking and we laugh together and have a good time. he does these things for me even though he knows that i can take care of myself, but i let him do it sometimes so he can feel even more like a man. he respects me, and he always treats me differently than other people. he isnt ashamed of me in public or anywhere, he seeks out time to spend with me more than often, he's seen me at my worst, and at my best and it doesn't faze him, he still has stuck around and keeps coming back for more time to spend with me. so far i've learned some of his likes,and about his family, and talks about the future. when i realized that i was feeling more than friendly feelings for him, i kept it a secret so i could wait for the right time to tell him. but i think he beat me to it! lolhe messaged me early one morning and wanted to know why i like talking to him and what i see in him. he said he was discussing it with his stepmom, when i asked why he wanted to know... and i figured well, i might as well admit how i feel right along with that and i did. the next class after he was very responsive to it in a POSITIVE way. he started getting closer, keeping an eye out for me more. when we're around each other we've got stars in our eyes, we've even become comfortable getting closer to each other than we normally did. he will touch me and rub my back a little and in other ways but not inappropriately. he will sit next to me facing me and stay with me talking almost the whole night of class. he surprises me out of nowhere to share new things with me, art, music etc. he listens to me when we talk, he asks a lot of questions about my life, hobbies, my job, etc. and i do the same with him. neither him nor i talk about any other guys/girls. just us. a couple of months ago, i heard him say he wasnt ready for a girlfriend, but i think that was before he asked me how i felt about him. i noticed something different just the other night in class, when three guests came in for an interview. we were going to film them on camera, and all three of them were guys, around 17/18, high school guys. he kept his eye on me the whole night while they were there. and he also made sure to stay close by me too the whole night. when we were on a short break from filming, and i was rewinding the footage and playing it back, all three of the guys rushed to my chair to see it, and i saw my crush looking dead at me the whole time until they left. i was completely cool with it, and i used that opportunity to show him that he could trust me even more. i treated them like normal people. no funny business. when he was watching them stand around me, it was more like a checking up on me and making sure neither guy gets out of line with me - kinda thing. when these guys got ready to leave and everyone was saying their goodbyes, he went on the other side of the room where i was and watched them as they left. before they left we went outside in the parking lot to film one last piece of their interview etc., and he stood next to me the whole time. he was a complete gentlemen to me as he always is. so far, every time i go with the flow and just let things happen naturally, more good things happen to draw us closer and closer. do you think i should continue waiting to see where it goes since it's worked up until this part, and it still does?
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at work, crush, facebook, shy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, wonderingaboutlove2 +, writes (18 October 2012):
so he's saying he doesnt want a gf but will flirt with me. even when he's teased by other classmates about us being lovebirds, possibly smooching (our teacher shot a few lines at us too) he wont say anything to discredit it. i wonder if should hint at it or make a move? what do you think?
A
female
reader, wonderingaboutlove2 +, writes (23 September 2012):
so everything has been good.but lately he's been adding girls/guys form different countries but seems like quite a bit are in relationships. (since before my first question) i wonder should i ask him about it? he tells me that he has some artistic friends from different places all over, and i wonder are these people he's adding any of them in particular. there's a lot i want to ask, but i dont want to be a bother to him. almost every weekend in the morning when he starts work, he is doing the adding. sometimes it is through the week. sometimes i get discouraged, and i think well there's goes our progress. and then, the next week at school, i still get signs that's its not that way and that i shouldn't be worried about it. he still respects me, caters to me, etc. you know after i saw how he would act around those three guys that are around me, all protective, that very next week (this past tuesday i think) it was my turn to sit through it. there was a member of a band and she was the only girl. i watched and kept an eye on things all night. nothing. even when she was wearing shorts and walked past him, he dropped his head and looked int he other direction. *he showed respect* big time! he turned to me several times and looked at me during the interview to see if i was watching. i knew what that look meant. he wanted to know if i would get jealous or watchful around him, and i did. i try not to show it too mcuh, but it always seeps out, and it makes my blood boil. if we are going to act this way when the other gets near a member of the opposite sex, and its harmless, then why wont he talk to me about it? and perhaps see that we've crossed the line of being friends a long time ago. our feelings are getting involved now. he even turned red when a classmate teased him about possibly taking me home because she had other errands to run out of town after class. *sigh* this thing drives me up the wall sometimes. *shakes head*
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A
female
reader, nat1972  +, writes (16 September 2012):
 Hi,
He sounds like a really wonderful man. You both obviously care deeply about each other. The most important thing here is friendship. You are both very good friends at this point and im sure you both want to take it further. Whats stopping you!!. Time will tell, if it will eventually come to something or not. But im pretty sure you have nothing to worry about. Be who you are, your intelligent, if he is shy don't push him. He is probably waiting for the right time. Good relationships come from those who wait. And going the next step is scarey cause you are afraid of where the friendship will end up. Trust in the unknown and follow every avenue as you are doing. Your fine. Go forward, be honest with him as he is with you and don't be afraid. Take each day as it comes. Sounds pretty much like love to me. Let it flourish into something that is so powerful words cannot speak.
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