A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am going through a hard time at the moment with my feelings towards someone special and I don't know what to do for the best. I'm so wrapped up in the situation I can't seem to make sense of it all. To start from the beginning, I have only been in Love once before. I cared for this man and loved him to the end of the earth. I wrote about him on here many times which did help me at times but in all serious I never found anyone to compared. Everytime I found someone new he wasn't him. Or that man just never left my heart no matter if I had another person in my life or not. Recently I have falling in Love with someone and its like that man never existed. I actually feel that again. Yet this situation is still so complicated. I have known off him through facebook for a few years. But he was always married and although he made it clear to me that he found me attractive I never took anything he said seriously. Recently he's been separated from his wife and he started talking to me on a regular basis. I will be honest, I have never met him. I have seen pictures, videos on youtube. We talked on the phone every other day, had the best conversations. Texted at all hours. Never felt so close to someone since.Well since then. And he was supposed to come and meet me but someone it all went wrong. He got angry at something small the night before and it didn't happen. Then a week or 2 passed and I emailed him because, although I actually haven't met him I was miserable. He got back in touch. Explained that he was sorry but he is having a mental breakdown. Which I know is true because, he has started a blog about it. Which I am finding it so hard not to read. Everything he is writting is so very upsetting. He wants me to wait until his therapy has finished and he will then contact me and we arrange to meet. He won't speak to me until then. Its like he's trying to separate the two. Get better before he starts anything with me. I can understand that. I'm just so miserable. I have past boyfriends from all angles (not the person I spoke off ) wanting me back.But really I don't want them. I know them, slept with them in the past. Have actual real memories with them but the only person I want is the man I have never met. I have his address. He gave it to me because, I was supposed to go there but he changed his mind until he's better. Part of me wants to just go. Show up. But that's not a great idea so I won't do that. He wants me to wait.I'm just so confused. Everyone is telling me to walk away. He isn't here, doesn't live close to me. If I really wanted to I could forget. But I honestly hand on heart believe he is the one. Regardless of all issues he may have or what's going on at the moment I love him. I hate feelings this miserable all the time. Thanks for reading.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 December 2011):
 What a lovely character. Married guy- but he "made clear to you that he found you attractive " . Through Internet. I.e. : married guy trolling the net for cheap thrills and low maintenannce romance.
When it gets a bit less low maintenance- and it's time to meet in person- he very conveniently picks up a fight over something small and cancels.
Regardless, he has a mental breakdown and does not want to start anything until he is in therapy ( which, whether it is just an excuse to stave you off, or the factual truth, at least it's a very good idea ).
Your friends are right, walk away ! ( Btw , what does it mean " he is being separated " ? Is he legally separated , is he still married and thinking about divorce, is he married but not living at home.... ? )
You say that hand on heart you love him- but !1) how can you love him if you don't even know him, you haven't even ever met him, you don't even talk to each other anymore ! you just have an image in your mind that maybe be very distant from how he actually is and acts and behaves in real life 2) sadly, it takes two to tango- you may love him, but he does not love you back.
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