A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 22, at university and I've learned to realise that the reason that I always pine about having a girlfriend is that everyone has one except me. The problem I've got is that I would use a girlfriend to fill a void in my life that needs filling. So any relationship I have will probably be short and sweet as I never did much with my last 2 girlfriends (we dated a few times) and it felt more like I was going out with them just to prove I could get a girlfriend.I now know I need to work on myself if I want to have any meaningful relationship. The problem is I don't know where to start in terms of knowing how to love myself. Some people say write a list of things I'm good at and things I'm bad at, what I have achieved but that doesn't seem to have completely improved my situation. Can anyone give any ideas.
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female
reader, rose007  +, writes (6 April 2010):
I don't think you should fee the need to try so hard. A relationship happens when it is right we have no control over it. Personally I don't feel the need to be in a relationship just to say I am in a relationship. Wouldn't you rather have a relationship that meant something? I think rather than purposely trying to get a girlfriend you should just open your friendship circle and just meet more people. And if you happen to meet your future girlfriend that way great, if not you will have made a few more friends.
A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (1 April 2010):
 Become friends with a girl that you in interested in that way the connection will be there and you will know that you want to keep hanging out with them. Then you two can start dating with a transition that doesn't make it such an official thing. I think then you will overcome the void filling and actually focus on being with the person.
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