A
male
age
41-50,
*aptaind
writes:Well im not going to write a book, but this is really putting a burden on my sex life with my girlfriend.Ive been dating my girlfriend for a year now. She is awsome, she really is a great girl. Last summer was kinda a roller coaster, it was great until one of my friends was hanging out with her and she kissed him, i got pissed over that and we worked it out, We were semi dating, and her ex boyfriend died in a crash, she was pretty hurt, and during that time she had sex with one of her guy friends. This really hurt me, she and I talked, she was then diagnosed with MS a month later and she became really close to me. We became official and the sex was great. We had the talk about are sex past. She took my virginity, im not the type that sleeps with anything, i waited. and I found out she has been with 14 other guys besides me. Shes had a threesome with 2 guys. She had sex with 2 guys I sorta know in the same month that about 2 months before I met her. And one of my good friends she has had sex with about 6 years ago in her early years of highschool. And Shes done anal not in depth though. And she lost her virginity when she was 14. Now everything is good, she has been loyal to me, doesnt talk to any guys. Sex is awsome, we try different positions, and I can last a long time and im decently big, 7"3/4. and get her to orgasim every time or as she says.-But I do have a problem. I cant get the picture out of my head of her getting banged by 2 guys, and these other guys shes slept with. Its driving me up a wall, I just want peace of mind and I love her too much to break up with her. But I cant take it, everytime we have sex or im away with her I picture her getting it from these guys. And it ruins the experience for me, cause its like I cant get it out of my head, its non stop torture.Im not a new experience for her? She has done all these positions with these other guys? What am I giving her that she hasnt already experienced in bed?How do I forget about these guys?And another issue im dealing with, she used to have sex with me all the time, now its like maybe once a week, i try and be romantic, what can i do to fix this? Were young, it should be all the time, i cant imagine how bad it will be if its once a week now, what it will be when were older.Also should a vagina be quite loose? cause she feels somewhat loose, but i dont know what a vagina is supposed to feel like.Sorry to ask all these, but i need help on this, especially the getting over the past guys.Thanks guys
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male
reader, Pyroshadow +, writes (11 August 2009):
Okay first. Stop listen to locker room talk. This might seem really odd, but the vagina actually gets wider when she is aroused. Lets assume the thickness of your penis is over 3.5 inches. That should be plenty. And it doesn't matter your are her first or 100th. Her vagina is still mostly the same.
On to her past. She hasn't done anything that bad. She experiment a little bit.
The girl I am seeing has done FAR worst.
I know its hard but don't think about it too much. She hasn't done anything horrible. There are far far far worst things that girls could do then what yours has.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2009): As Natasia said below me, you should talk to her about it because you may not realize it now but the reason why your not together as much anymore could be strongly linked to your feelings. Even if you don't say anything is wrong, I guarantee she's noticed.I'm mostly just going to give you what Natasia said but in my way because I feel I can relate a bit.She isn't with some other guy, she's with you. obviously there's something about you(or more likely a lot of things) that she really likes. She can't get that from any other guy but you, the same positions will better if only because she's doing them with you. There's something to be said about you forgiving her for cheating on you twice, I hate to be immature but it would be hard enough for me to trust a girl again after she kissed another guy let alone if she slept with someone else. But you were able to work through that and that means a lot! Your relationship is made stronger by your ability to trust her again and so trying to get over your own insecurities should be easier. Just try to thing of how much you love each other anytime you're feeling bothered.I had a similar experience but on a much smaller scale. Me and my girlfriend were both virgins but I was a virgin in a much more, never had more than a kiss sort of way. And it bothered me so much in my head knowing that all of my first time experiences we were having were not first times for her. And I knew that I was being immature, and I didn't realize it but I was driving her away because whenever I could link a certain moment to any of her past experiences I would get all moody without explanation. That really hurt our relationship but it only got better once I was able to get past that idea in my mind and realize she with me for a reason, if she wanted to be with any other guy then she wouldn't be with me. As your relationship matures so will the way you feel about it. If you want to try something that could have more immediate results: Try to find something she's never done before, something a little bit crazy. Maybe try your luck with something like handcuffs if she hasn't done that before. Having an experience with her that you can be sure is all your own will make you feel quite a bit better but it's still a little shallow(understandably though).And who knows, maybe you won't be able to get over it but at least you'll be more experienced for the next girl and then you wont have to worry about having those feelings.Best of luck and hope I helped!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2009): You have lived by one value system for sex and she has lived by a different one. Of course this bothers you when it's a serious relationship being formed here.
In most cases you won't ever stop being bothered by it over time. You will just manage these thoughts a little better if you're lucky. But the hurt never stops, not in 20 or 30 years.
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A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (4 August 2009):
 Ok.\
No 1, she is definitely getting something totally new and different from you. And it is something she really likes. That's why she is with you, and not anybody else. Think of it like that. You are better than the others. Way.
Next thing. She has trusted you and told you about her past. Maybe not the wisest thing, but she was honest! Look, we all have the same problem. We all feel sick when we think about our partner with someone else. You just have to block it and think that was the past, and this is now, and she is with me. her choice. And even with all that experience, I am her choice.
As for the same position being the same with different people - oh come on now. You're brighter than that : ) It is totally different, and depends on feelings, and what someone is like physically.
As for the looseness or otherwise of someone's vagina - well, if she is in your age bracket, then of course her vagina won't be as 'tight' as that of someone twenty years younger. I don't know if she has any children - certainly if she has then she may well be completely changed internally. Even if she hasn't, I'm afraid the years do take their toll and she may be less toned . Good news is that if she does some special exercises she can tone all that up, but be very careful talking about it, as it can v much upset someone if you say they are 'loose'.
Sex once a week ... not ideal, but maybe somehow some of your worries and upset is being transferred to her. i think you should talk to her.
good luck : )
xx
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