A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My brother's spending habits have been concerning me - he spent $15,000 on underwear - with $5000 worth of unopened Y-fronts/briefs, $10000 worth of designer suits, and also a $20000 Chrysler Sebring sedan - never driven (he uses an old 1993 Ford Taurus!).He also spent $8000 on wine, which is unopened as well.He also spent $6000 on undershirts - all unopened still, and in the spare room.I tried to inform him he's overspending, but he told me to lighten up and that I was being "a total bitch!"He said the spending gives him "a vibe, a buzz, and it's great fun!"I'm worried for his mental health - but he still continues to splash the cash, particularly on underwear, designer shirts, undershirts and wine.By the way, he's 31 years old and this behaviour isn't what you'd expect from someone that age, is it?He never uses any of the stuff and this is stressing me out.Unfortunately my mom and dad don't want to use tough love in this situation to help him, saying it's his money to spend.I'm worried about the amount of space his items are taking up, and the money he's spending.What can I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2009): Depending on how its done, and the context, this kind of impulse buying, spontaneous behaviour, and doing things for "the buzz, the vibe, to have great fun" that involve vast sums of money can be signs of Bipolar Disorder. Or he could just be having a good time being young rich and eccentric. Read up a bit on Bipolar perhaps, and if a lot of things match up, speak to a Doctor about options to get your brother some help. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2009): His problem, not yours, though I understand your concerns, and if it were my sibling, I'd be tempted to show him documentaries about starving African babies and magazine articles about how one-third of the world's population a) exists in abject poverty, or b) starves to death or dies of preventable diseases, in order to service extortionate national debt repayments to keep people like him in the style to which he's become accustomed.
That's not to say that it's his fault at all, or that there's anything morally wrong in spending £65,000 on stuff he doesn't use just because he has the money. It's his. Perhaps he's a zillionaire with no idea what to spend his money on, and this stuff is small change for him. He's not harming anyone. But the point is, he doesn't need this stuff, and sounds like a month of budget travelling in poorer countries might work wonders for his world-view.
Don't worry, it's end-of-days Fall of the Roman Empire stuff, and he's in for a sharp wake-up call over the next few years, as are many others. In the meantime, all you can do is tell him why you disapprove and then leave it in his hands.
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A
female
reader, busy04 +, writes (4 August 2009):
 What can you do?
Nothing!
Your brother is a grown man & the most you can do is just talk to him, tell him how you feel & hope he listens. You're concerned about his mental health, you can suggest counseling or something like that but it seems that your brother doesn't think he has a problem. And no disrespect but from all the things you've mentioned: I think he does, that's more than a lot of money spent! But still in all, it is his money, and even though that doesn't make it right by any means some people just have to learn on their own: and guess what your brother will be one of those people. He'll stop spending so much when all of it backfires on him!
Wow! He really spent $15,000 on underwear: they should be made with pure gold:)
Don't stress yourself, I could only imagine how you feel but try not to stress. You don't want to lose sleep over something you can't control. Hope I helped ya!
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