A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been going out for over a year now. He is great and we get along great. It's just every couple of months he goes weird for a few days where he seems like he is avoiding me and my messages and we don't see each other, I know I worry to much but he has broken up with me before so I am always worrying and thinking the worse when things like this happen. Is this normal for teenage boys and how should I go about it when this happens? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (18 March 2011):
Hi there. It sounds like you are not very sure of yourself and it's showing as an insecurity and your sense of impending doom - so to speak - meaning, that you fear the worst, that he'll break up with you again.
Try to live your life just not thinking about that, and instead just enjoy the time you are together and have fun.
Always be optimistic and think positive. It really does make a huge difference in all relationships.
What you say about him not answering your messages sometimes (I assume you mean text messages), is more than likely a case of him feeling crowded by you. It probably makes him feel like you are always in his face and almost like you are keeping tabs on him. That kind of behaviour can be very suffocating, (even though you feel you are just trying to show him you care). It's the wrong way.
Even though I realize that's probably not your intention, it would be wise to hold off from texting him when he is not with you, and just instead, give him space and let him ring you - when he is ready to do that. Even if it's a full week or so. But you must do this - and be patient.
It's not like you are never going to see him again. Like most couples, you probably see each other at least once a week or perhaps twice. Between one time seeing each other and the next time, just give him space and silence. By silence, I mean -
(a) Don't text or email him.
(b) Don't call him on the phone either.
No contact whatsoever.
Just let him come to you instead. He will respect you for doing that.
Everyone needs their space - it's healthy.
This isn't snubbing him, it's merely giving him space. We all need our solitude sometimes. You do - and he does. It's healthy to do that.
I can practically guarantee that if you begin to give him space, and instead from now on - let him call you - then things will improve dramatically between you.
It will make a difference, you'll see. A very positive difference.
Take care and best wishes.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2011): Yeah, he just says that nothing is wrong but it's obvious that he is acting different so I'm really not sure.
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A
female
reader, GeeGee255  +, writes (18 March 2011):
 Have you ever asked him what is on his mind during these times?
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