A
female
age
30-35,
*akeItOrLeaveIt
writes:Hi i'm a 15 year old girl. i am going to ask something but i dont think there is any correct answer to this. i would just like to know what everyone thinks and if anyone has ever been in this type of situatuion. My best friend of like 8 years moved to the UK end of last year. it was always just the 2 of us. we were basically sisters, we were together 24 7! it was actually crazy. we were so close we basically lived at each other's houses.ever since she left its been kinda hard obviously! but i have been coping. i think a big reason why it was so hard was cos it had always been the 2 of us. we didnt need anyone else so we seemed 2 forget all the other girls and stuff although we had other friends, we never got too close to others cos we had each other.now that she's gone i have to make friends with everyone who we were once against. thank gosh people have now accepted me. my only problem is that i have changed! its so sad actually. i think i am maybe just growing up in a way. it's just that i dont think this change is a very good one. i think and have been told that i have become a lot meaner.soo many friends of mine have told me that i am not the girl i used to be, and it hurts to hear that. i think maybe another reason i'm mean to people is because i am comparing them to my best friend who moved. like i have somewhere in my mind that no one else is ever good enough to replace her. it seems she has moved on happily now so i just wish i could too.its getting really bad though cos i dont even know who i am anymore. i've become so rebellious. i used to be an A student, now i am happy if i just pass at least. it's as of there isnt anything to work for anymore. as if there is nothing pushing me to do better. i'm not saying she did though. i have become obsessed with my appearance. This change is also cos i have a boyfriend. my first ever boyfriend. and another thing is i'm letting go completely with him. i am doing things i never in a million years thought i'd do. i was even considering having sex with him. but soon after realised i was just being silly. just as well though cos now i know i would never do that so young.anyways the point is that i have changed as a person. i think i am just very unsettled cos this is the time where us teenagers make a name for themselves. i am at that stage of deciding what kind of person i want to be known as.funny thing is I dont really mind what i have become, i like it. i dont miss the childish me. but i cant just be or do what i want cos its just that i am slowly losing friendships and making people hate me because of this:(please.. someone.. anyome... some advice!!thanks Xxx
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (8 March 2007):
 You say... "soo many friends of mine have told me that i am not the girl i used to be," They don't KNOW how you used to be as you never really got close to them so bear that in mind!
Also, as you rightly said, you're growing up now and your perception of things will change. You're going out with someone so you will be concerned about your appearance, this is all normal. Here is a link that might help you. It talks about "finding yourself," finding the true you.
http://www.wikihow.com/Find-Yourself
You need to decide what it is you want for life, where you want to go, what goals you have, what is important to you and what isn't. I hope you keep in touch with your friend, you could maybe ask her if she's feeling this way too.
Eve
A
female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (8 March 2007):
 This is not a very good road that you are on. I think your friend leaving had a very big impact on your life and hurt you so deep. You are now putting up this image that really isnt you. You need to put your life back in order. Dropping your grades may not seem that important to you at the moment but it will in the future. What do you want from your life? You can make this right being mean to people pushes them away. Is this what you really want? Are you afraid of being hurt again. It is possible you know to make a new friend who you can have a great relationship with. Once you get a name for yourself its very hard to get rid of it. So come on I think you really do care about the way you are heading you need to start letting people see the real you and stop putting up this front. In the long run you will be alot happier.
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A
female
reader, Bella55 +, writes (8 March 2007):
There is nothing wrong with what you are going through. you are growing up and finding your own identity. Before when you had your friend, you lived in each others shadows, and now you are finally becoming your own person.
I wouldnt worry about what other people say, friendships come and they go, but you have to stay true to yourself always. Everything is an experience in life, dont neglect your studies or your self respect.
Youll be fine, stay strong, and enjoy life.
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