A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have just come out of a relationship with a lovely girl. She said it was because of her job, but then she told me she was seeing someone else, who is known as a player (testified to me by many people). They had been friends for 6 months before we broke up and they got together. Because there's a difference between friends and lovers, will she ever realise that he'll hurt her? Women won't believe that their man will hurt them, I've never understood why they enter into relationships.
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broke up, my ex, player Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthis may seem a bit nasty, but when I heard that she was single again, I thought, we told you so (a few other friends suspected he'd cheat)! If she wants me back, I won't know what to say really; she still cheated on me, but nowehere near as badly as jen did (and treated me)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2007): And I am wondering why she would call you and tell you this (?) Most girls would never call an ex to tell him about problems with "present". Unless she has an agenda. Remember, she dumped you once for Mr. Adventurous. Be cautious. There are many others like him out there. And she has shown an attraction for them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2007): "What shall I do?". Well, what you don't do is say, "I could have told you so". Sympathize, and be supportive, but don't get carried away with an idea of getting her back. That is, if you want her back. I am not sure I would. I never was one to risk "twice burned" by the same person. But that is me, not you. Meantime, get on with your own life. Don't waste any of it waiting for a replay.
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A
female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (5 April 2007):
 Just be as supportive as you can, be there for her as a friend. She will let you know what happened when she is ready.
Angel of Love
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTash got in touch with me on Friday (after giving her space for a month) to say, in no certain words, that she got hurt (she didn't say how obviously). What shall I do?
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female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (8 March 2007):
Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to make her see what you see.
They say that love is sometimes blind and it is true. If they have been friends for 6 months, you need to give your ex some credit and perhaps she can see for herself?
What a waste, you are the nice guy and if this guy is a player, all you can do is be there for her as a friend if and when she gets hurt.
I do not personally believe that players change but everyone deserves a second chance.
For example, I know someone who behaves like a "dog on heat" when he is out with his mates but I know that deep down he wants is to be loved (even though he doesn't know it yet)He is single and because he was hurt in the past, he doesn't know what he wants and amuses himself acting as a player. This could also be a phase this guy was going through.
If both your ex and your friend are compatible, perhaps she can be happy. Hopefully she will, I am sure that is all what you want.
If you try to talk her out of it, she will only resent you and feel that you are jealous. Just let her know that you will be there if she needs you.
Angel of Love
xxx
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A
female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (8 March 2007):
 This is very hard for you. You really liked this girl and she went straight into another relationship. I really wouldnt worry about this any more she made a decision to go out with this guy so i would just leave them to it. You are the one who has been hurt here so i would leave them to it and move on. Letting go is the hardest thing.
Aunty t
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe also lives 3 hrs away from her
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2007): Maybe he won't be a player with her, maybe he won't hurt her. If they have been friends for 6 months then he is obviously more than just a player - isn't he?
It's hard when your partner gets in to another relationship straight away, it kind of makes you feel like you didn't matter to them, best thing to do though is to be happy for her, and move on. You'll find a girl who is right for you, and visa-versa. All the best.
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A
female
reader, Bella55  +, writes (8 March 2007):
Some women choose to get into these relationships to get hurt. Unfortunately some people need to experience these things to grow spiritually and stronger. Believe me, she is very well aware of the risks. But she also believes that a player can be changed. The only thing you can do is keep your friendship, and show her that you care without insulting him or putting doubts in her mind. They could either fall inlove and he will change his ways, or her doubts could get the better of her and she will leave him. Or more than likely he will do his player thing and shell get hurt the way she knows shes in for anyway.
whatevas meant to happen, will happen. Sometimes people need to learn these lessons by themselves.
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