A
female
age
36-40,
*uckerforluv123
writes:Hi everyone I just need some advice as im in a tough confusing situation right now. Okay so I posted a lil while ago about my ex that went crazy when he lost his good paying job and left me the same week when I found out I was pregnant. Gave me $ to abort and told me to leave his house or he wld call the cops on me... okay so now 5 mnths later im still prego..yay 2 me I kept the baby... and I decided to get in touch w his family so the child can know his side at least when she's born. Well long story short, he got in touch w me thru the # I gave the fam and apologized and asks 2 c me so we can talk.. Of course I shut him dwn but a few days later his sister asked me 2 c me..she's a nurse...and wantd me to get prenatal care in her clinic etc etc..so while I was there he showed up and ever since that day he's been on me hard!! So a cpl days ago I gave in and we got bac together but now im so confused.. Bc I dnt knw what I m doin. Im still hurt and upset about what he did to me and even his sister told him he's a piece of shit and dsnt deserve me but that is the father and being with him Is the ideal situation. I dnt want him to get too comfy w me and thnk everythng is okay... I knw I have the upper hand but I dnt know what I shld do! Im leaving out the country for a week in a few days and im thnking of going out of state 2 my moms house when I get back to make myself unavailable to him and so he knows I don't need him which I've already told him numerous times..but I still feel confused..I jus need some advice... anything wld help..
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female
reader, suckerforluv123 +, writes (18 March 2009):
suckerforluv123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks all of this is true. Im very confused but I spoke to him last night and told him he had to get me an apartment for all 3 of us to live together when the baby comes. He's very stressed bc he's backed up in bills but I told him to take everythng into consideration and if he dsnt want to be with me its fine, I will move to FL with my fam until I get back on my feet but I made it clear I don't need him. I got thru 5 mnths of my pregnancy alone I can get thru the rest if I have to. All I can do is put everythng in the hands of god and pray.. Thanks everyone for your advice! I hope noone every has to go thru this!
A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (18 March 2009):
 Sappy girl is right he is the father at the end of the day he has parental rights to see his child but that doesn't mean that you have to be with him for the sake of the child you wouldn't want a horrible atmosphere for your baby to grow up him.
if he is that immature you want to get out and tell him he has to grow up and deal with his responsibillities as a father but you guys can't be together especially if your confused about him.
Just think of your child now and tell him that's all you have in your mind is what is best for your child.
you don't need his petty behaviour he needs to man up for his baby and be there for his baby.
hope this helps
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (18 March 2009):
 Like it or not, he is the baby's father and by you keeping the baby, he has everyright to see the child and be a father. Now you and him are a different story. you don't have to be with him. It's up to you to give him a 2nd chance or not. Sometimes fatherhood changes people.
He was a jerk cause he was immature and didn'tknow how to deal with the whole situation. Only you can decide if you want him as a boyfriend. but unfortunately he will be in your life for the next 18 plus years..at least.
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A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (18 March 2009):
 Listen, being with someone who is that hot headed is not an ideal situation, especially for your baby.
I think the best thing you can do is keep communication very open with his family, don't punish them for his mistakes. Allow them to have visitation, try to make things as comfortable as possible for your baby.
The most ideal situation would be for him to step up as a father and be a regular person in this child's life. You do not have to be with him to do this though.
if he has gotten over his issue that he had in the beginning, then by all means give him a second chance if you're comfortable with him. But maybe you could just try dating each other again. Babies do not always have to equal a marriage.
Good luck, jsut do what is right by you and your baby!
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