A
female
age
30-35,
*abelicious
writes:hi.. I am heartbroken hereMy guy and I are going on for quite long... we were going normal for long till one day he just stopped smsing me. I sent him so many messages but I didn't recieve any reply from him. I don't know whether we both have broken up or not. The worst is that he is in the same school as I am. If I have to talk to him directly I am scared that he will embarrass me in front of his friends. I am really worried.I've got another pronlem. Last year I went steady with this guy for 7 months. I asked him for a break up.. and after that I still wanted him back and I really regretted for what I did. He spent more time with me than all my ex guys. He was very loving to me. I sent him sms's over and over again but he told me to forget him but I can't.. even though I am with another guy now I still can't forget my ex guy.. Can you please help me. I am really going through hell. please.. thank yougod bless you
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female
reader, red1982  +, writes (28 March 2008):
It sounds to me like you and your guy have broken up - but he doesn't want to have to say it. If he's not replying then you should stop messaging him. And try to avoid a situation where you have to talk to him in front of his friends otherwise it could be really embarrassing for you. He may be mature and not embarrass you, but the fact that he is unable to tell you that he doesn't want to see you anymore suggests that he is not that mature.
As for your ex, there is nothing you can do but try to get over him. He has made it quite clear that he doesn't want to get back together and it won't be easy for you until you accept it. I know that it is really hard to say goodbye to someone that you really liked and still want back, but you will get over him, eventually.
Stay away from guys until you are over your ex. They don't help you to get over exes - I know it may seem like the answer to jump straight into another relationship but it really isn't. It usually just leaves two unhappy people trying to go out together. If your hearts still with someone else your boyfriend will know!!
Take care of yourself
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008): It sounds like you fall to deep in love, but miss out on the search and finding for that golden grail inside your partner.
The first thing is to convince yourself that some people need time, that some fear there own feelings and sometimes try to run away from them. Many families are dysfunctional, and the love doesn't always trickle down to their children, it usually is because they are so busy putting food on the table and keeping a roof over their head, that when a boy or girl meets the opposite sex and they just melt from the love for each other, it sometimes scares them and they wonder if they can continue this level of intimacy, because they've never done it before. It is like falling into a hole and not being able to climb out. People need time to adjust, to back off and absorb there feeling until they become comfortable with these feelings.
There could be other reasons for the situation. Communicating between you is neccesary to understand the whats and whys of it.
With your post, it sounds like your driftng between current and past boyfriends. This to is normal if you haven't resolved issues from the past, when things don't go well, we search in the past and relate past experiences to the present: what did we do wrong or miss this time.
Without experience, compassion, acceptance, caring, we will continue to repeat and make unfortunate msitakes. Keeping a journal that allows you to write down the days events, how it made you feel, what would you have prefered happen, and what could you have done differently to have helped a different outcome. It is a learning tool to help you identify who you are, your likes and dislikes; what is acceptable and what is not. Just like math, science, history and language, we study them all the same way so we can get the most out of them.
If he won't respond to you, then confronting him, preferably alone might be the best way to get communication going, at least an opportunity for understanding so if you need to "let go" or move forward with him because problems were raised, feelings hurt, and you were able to talk and express your true feelings. It isn't easy, it takes courage to put your heart on the line, but this is how you learn and get what you want out of life.
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