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anonymous
writes: Ok here's the story, my boyfriend and I broke up last weekend but when we talked during the week we realised that there was a few things we hadn't told each other about our relationship. So instead of splitting up totally we decided to go on a "break" for a few weeks instead. I'm trying so so hard to give him the break and space that my boyfriend (I still consider him that) wants but I'm finding it more and more difficult as the days go on. I find myself just looking at the fone, wanting it to ring and be him... I want to text/ring him just to see how he is doing and how he is feeling. I'm afraid by not contacting him he thinks I don't care about him and if I do will it look like I'm begging him to take me back? Whats the best thing to do here? I'm going out of mind here.....
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell update on things so far.... He txt me last week for the first time since we agreed to the break. It wasn't anything much but just "hi how are you" etc but I'm still none the wiser as to what is happening...
I'm not going to put my life on hold until he makes up his mind. But I do really want/need to know what is going on with him... Do I contact him or wait for him to contact me again??? Whats the best course of action?
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female
reader, Gena Bullock  +, writes (28 March 2008):
 If you agreed to take a break for a few weeks, then do so!
An ocassional phone call or text wouldn't be out of CON-text. But to smother him with daily calls/messages would be. Drop him a line letting him know you ARE thinking about him and miss him...if you really do. (and I know you do)
Don't fret if he doesn't reply right away...sometimes guys are slow about these things. But, if he does--then let him lead--or make the next move. One step/day at a time, okay?
Gena
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008): I think those things you didn't tell each other is the most important thing that needs to be worked out. If he feels hurt, then he will need time to sort it out and heal to the point he can be normal and loving again.
Hearing your voice or seeing you right now, or any time soon, may not help his situation. What might be appropriate, is sending him a small gift, something that might bring a smile to him.
As he is working out his issues, you to, should be working through some of the things that took place, understand the areas that hurt him, and whether or not you can change behavior in order to provide what he needs.
Relationships sometimes requires us to compromise, change behavior so that we can be in harmony with each other.
I don't know what happen to you two specifically, but the above is a generalization of problems in relationships and what needs to be done to help each other and strengthen the bond and trust.
Right now, you both owe 50/50 of the problem and you both have 50/50 in resolving it.
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