A
female
age
30-35,
*hi.Cosplay
writes:Hi, I really need help.My ex boyfriend left me after a 1 year and 4 month relationship and I cannot cope at all...Throughout our relationship he always said these things exactly: "I promise that I love you and only you" "I promise that We'll be together forever" "You are my everything" "I promise I will never cheat on you" "I mean every word I say" "I promise every word I have ever said, I truely love you" "You are perfect" "I will never stop loving you" "I promise I will marry you and we will live together, spend our whole lives together"And he left me for someone else...The night before he left me (he said he didn't know he'd be leaving me the next day) he was calling me from his mobile because he couldn't come see me and he wouldn't stop calling and saying that I am the 'One' for him and we couldn't stop screaming our love for eachother down the phone, He was running out of credit so he said he would call me later but never did because he lost his phone that night and he was actually crying! (He's a strong guy) and he was shouting and punching things 'cause he said he needed me...and then the next day:"I love someone else..."...I have completely broken down, I have to admit that I started drinking and I am having extreme mood swings, he will barely talk to me now and the girl he left me for has recently dumped him after a week (or so) relationship. He is very upset and wont get over this girl and ignores the fact that I am hurting...He has lied, broken promises, lead me on, hurt me and left me alone. I should hate him.But I don't...I love him with all my heart...And I can't help but think he is the one.Why did he leave me if he loved me that much?Help me get over him!Please!I'm going insane...
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009): right, im 15, i have just split up with my boyfriend after 8month, like ryt this second. i no wat its like, i fukin love him so much u wunt belive it i lost my virginity after the 1st month dont get me rong we had our downs he broke promises too, hes a guy they all do it some more than others. anyway ill cut to the chase..
your fella is most likely bored of the same person, yeah he probably wont shag around or get with any1 ryt now becoz even if he dunt say it deep down he still loves you, even if hes been goin off you. no human being will turn there back on a year relationship and be imeadiatly over it,
best thing you can do is, if you see him at school dont make eye contact, be good friends and flirt A LITTLE BIT just a bit tho coz he will think your weird, tart up make yourself look like a page 3 girl, if your a bit plum lose weight exersize look after yourself keep up with your apearence and play hard to get but make sure your available,
MOST IMPORTANT
dont go beggin or pleading for him back, sympathy dus not rub off on guys, and if there back with you coz ov guilt is it gna work? just dont talk to him on MSN or txt or fone ignor him but be nice wen he talks to u so he knows what hes missing out on.
if you want to end it tho, my best advice wud be drink it down, live it up, get out there your a lass big or small you go out there and youf ukin enjoy yourself your fit loose and fancy free thers a world out there live it there is more to life than him my life revolved around my man but it shunt neither shud urs xx
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (16 February 2009):
 I can understand right now how much you are hurting, I remember when my first relationship ended and I spend a whole week laid on the sofa not moving and not eating!
When your first real relationship ends with your first love there is no pain like it, you feel like the whole world has ended and you will never find someone again. But you are so young and have your whole life ahead of you - you will get through this I promise!
You need to stop thinking about how much you love him and realise that he has done you a favour by leaving you! He is clearly too immature for a relationship - to be claiming he loves you and that your the "one" yet he loves a new girl the next day! If he thought he loved this new girl then clearly he doesnt know what love really is, and it is possible he never really loved you either.
Young love is always intense, and has huge ups and downs. At your age, you need to be focusing on school and your future, not being held back by relationships. If you look at this relationship realistically; would you have lasted through future exams, the possibility of moving away to uni, meeting lots of new people along the way?
I know it feels like he is the one but how do you know this when you haven't had a serious relationship with anyone else?! Life changes a lot in your late teens/early twenties and first loves rarely last as you change and grow as a person.
This is why you need to realise this is a good thing - you are not tied down anymore, you can focus on your future rather than future as a "we" and you are saving yourself heartache in the future.
You need to ignore him now - delete his number and never contact him again. When I split up with my first boyfriend my mum took my mobile away for a week so I couldnt contact him and in the end it was the best thing to do, as it helped me to move on by not speaking to him. And please dont turn to drink to help you - it will make things worse.
I would suggest telling your parents everything - from him leaving you to your drinking. While parents can be strict and sometimes make unfair decisions, they are also only concerned with your happiness and are great for support when you need it as they are the only people in the world that love you unconditionally. Even if they lock you in your bedroom for a month and remove all alcohol from the house - it will be for your own good!
You will feel better soon I promise; you just need to stop drinking, stay away from your ex and concentrate on yourself. There are plenty of other guys out there who will treat you right; you just need to wait a while until your over your ex and then get out there and find a real man who knows how to treat a girl!
Good luck and stay strong!
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A
female
reader, Chi.Cosplay +, writes (16 February 2009):
Chi.Cosplay is verified as being by the original poster of the question You think that I never meant anything to him?...I don't understand, and why would he stay with me for so long if he never meant it?There's so many questions I want answered but none of them ever are.I feel so lost
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A
female
reader, msdgaf910  +, writes (16 February 2009):
 do you want to get over him, or do you want him back?cause you are mix messaging things. you love him. but you want to get over him. well, think about it there's alot more guys out there, i know hes the one that makes you crazy, but you don't know if theres another one. and what a scumbag to say i love someone else, he's playing games, cause if he really wanted to be with you he would of stayed with you instead of saying he "loves" this other girl. you obviously meant nothing to him if he decided to up and leave you like that. baby girl, my advice is to just move on and start talkin to someone else.
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