A
male
age
41-50,
*oul83
writes:My gf is a tour guide and meets a lot of male tourists. She keeps in contact with them after they go back to their countries - using MSN etc. The problem is that it makes me feel uncomfortable for her to be sending photos of herself to them and seemingly leading them on. They believe she is single and she lets them 'sweet talk' her. I hate that!It makes me feel jealous and like she is emotionally cheating on me. I can't (and don't want to) stop harmless chatter between them. But it's the direction of the conversations and her sending photos of just herself that have me thinking about walking away.Case in point, she went to the beach with her friend today and they took lots of photos. Now I think she wants to send some of those photos to the men. That I feel is disgusting and should stop. Not likely to happen though. I have no problem with her wanting to get nice photos of herself - nothing wrong with a young woman wanting that. It's how she plans to use them that has me so upset!
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male
reader, Brunel  +, writes (13 April 2010):
You have put a little more light on the issue. Again with due respect the relationship is young. There is no fromal commitment. I assume that you are getting what you want from it, it is much too early to expect behavioural change?Unless you are very upset by her antics then carry on with her till someone else comes along!I am not sute about the 'wealthy foriegner' bit?
A
male
reader, soul83 +, writes (13 April 2010):
soul83 is verified as being by the original poster of the question@Brunel
We have been together for 5 months now (more than a year if you count the LDR). I absolutely do not control her. She is free to make whatever decision is best for her. Yeah it's great that the tourists find her attractive and flirt to her. I have no problem with that either.
The problem is that she talks to these guys as though she is single. She has them believing that she is a single woman looking for her dream man. Which is where I question why I am with her? She tells me she wants a good future with me but turns around and has these guys thinking she is single. They then talk about wanting to come back to meet her, to get her to come to them etc.
You know, if she is with me then she, for one thing, shouldn't be leading these guys on. Secondly, I don't know your thinking but for me, having my partner talking to other guys in a loving way has me thinking she is not entirely satisfied with what she has and wants to explore before settling down.
Nothing wrong with that either. Just I don't want to be a backup option. I only ask for commitment to the relationship - that if she cannot give it her best shot to ignore other guys and not talk to them on the side like she is single, then why is she still trying to be with me?
I asked her to stop talking in a flirting way or making out she is single. Despite her saying that she will stop doing it if it makes me feel uncomfortable, I found her at it again. She has guys asking after her to know where she is - they are hanging on to talk to her. She'll end up being lead away at this rate. So that's why I question why I am with her - she can't seem to commit to me without looking around for something better.
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A
male
reader, Brunel +, writes (12 April 2010):
Get off her case. You do not own her and it seems as if you think you do.
I would be very grateful that tourists find her attractive in the first place.
You need to lose your attitude or you will lose her. G/f's do not imply ownership. When your ready finish the relationship if that is how you feel?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): I definately recognise you for some earlier posts about your tour guide girlfriend. To put it bluntly I live all the way in Scotland and its pretty clear to me! You yourself know she is up to no good and you do not trust her. Why on earth would you want to be in a relationship like that? Sounds like she is waiting to find a wealthy foreigner!
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