A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:ok im 49 a young 49 and have a 40 yr old boyfriend.........my problem is im too embarrassed to undress in front of him!...........im on the tubby side and after 4 kids got a belly....(which i hate!) i was married to a drunk who yr after yr after yr knocked my confidence to the ground.......it has never come back and now my boyfriend says hes upset i dont undress in front of him........i hate my body big time but im worried that cracks will appear in our relationship and it will do a lot of harm if i keep 'hiding in the dark'.............i need a confidence miracle, any real sure fire advice please
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2011): Never ever EVER tear yourself or your body down! Not today, not tomorrow, NOT EVER!!.. Forget what has happened in the past; the past is the past. Stand up straight, realize that your body is stunning JUST THE WAY IT IS!! If you are not happy, healthy or what not, you can encourage yourself in these things, but never ever ever tear yourself down in front of ANY one, NO. Some people think that when they downgrade themselves, they will bring sympthay...THE VERY OPPOSITE HAPPENS. Don't instill negativity by your words or actions. Perhaps if you are shy, explain this to your other one and ask him to be patient, but here's the bottom line: If he isn't troubled, Yea! Just tell him you are shy and explain you will gradually overcome it...and do just that. Forget the past; you are beautiful just the way you are; you're the one who needs to know this more than anything.
Stand in front of the mirror and repeat after me:
I am beautiful!
My body is beatiful!
I am not ashamed of my body because it's beautiful!
There are no perfect bodies!
I am beautiful! repeat that everyday for life!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010): He would not be with you if he did not find you sexy. Tear of those clothes and let him enjoy your body. He will most definitely love it.
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A
female
reader, Blue Sahara  +, writes (2 July 2010):
 Your husband was a jerk who used any imperfection to make you feel like you weren't good enough to get another man. It had nothing to do with your body and everything to do with his desire to control you. I'm sure there were other things, like your cooking or cleaning, that he thought were awful too. Even though you know logically, that they weren't. Men know what we look like naked before we take our clothes off. They may not know every little scar or stretch mark but they have a pretty good idea. If you take off your clothes in front of him there is no way he is going to go "Wait a minute?! Where did that tummy come from? You hide that so well in clothes I had no idea you had extra weight on!" Of course he knows you have a tummy! He saw in it your clothes and he feels it against him! Men are so visual it just kills them to not see us completely naked. It's like a secret we refuse to share with them. Just like we want to hear all their deep down secrets and thoughts, they want to see all the nooks and crannies of our body. Just like they wonder why anyone would want to hear their dirty little thoughts, we wonder why anyone would want to see us in certain positions. When you are completely naked and exposed to him, there is no barrier between the two of you and that's what he is craving for. Plus, there is so much trust and acceptance that goes into being completely bare too. It's a great feeling for a guy to know you trust him with your naked body. You can't be any more vulnerable than that and you are trusting him with it. I agree with Strointrumdog that it takes time. Try wearing one of those slips that covers everything but has a shelf bra that exposes your boobs. Or wear a nightie that covers everything but get in a position where he can see something. Then try something smaller and smaller. Try candlelight instead of having the lights on. Candlelight is so flattering it's unbelievable. When you get used to it, I'm telling you, being completely naked with the man you love, lights on, no covers, is the best experience in life! After struggling with body images all our lives as women, there is nothing that feels as good as having a man accept every imperfection and get turned on by you. But you can't get to that point without some uncomfortable moments.
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A
female
reader, ctds001 +, writes (1 July 2010):
Hey Hun,
I read in a book at men are much less critical them women.
So you might see a flabby baby belly, he may be a beautiful soft belly.
It's all lovely to him, so take your time and just lap up the positive reactions you get from him!
Good luck x
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