A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been going out with my girlfriend for 7 months and she has a big ego! when i first met her, she just recently broke it off with a guy she was seeing. we started talking and ended up liking each other a lot. however, she indicated that she needed space and does not want to get serious yet which i respected. in the meantime, she was talking to other guys while keeping me around. we would kiss and cuddle when were together but when she leaves, she would be talking to other guys. after a few months, i told her i was tired of just being used. when i tried to leave her she said she wanted to go out with me. now my issue is, even today she still strives for attention from other guys. when we go clubbing, she she enjoys attention from other guys and entertains by actually moving closer to them while were dancing. she's very outgoing and approachable so guys would constantly talk to her everywhere she goes. she tells me this and i just get pissed off because she actually takes the time to have a conversation with them. then she would rant on how hot the were. on top of that, she makes me feel insecure by saying that she can get any guy she wants because of her looks. i get mad and jealous but she says that i shouldn't because i'm with her. that i should be proud that i have a hot girlfriend. the weird thing is she's good to me when we are together. i'm happy with her when we are not arguing about other guys. our personalities connect and we're like little kids when were hanging out. i enjoy her company and i'm sure she enjoys mine. but my only issue is her constant need for attention from other guys. i feel the compliments and attention i give her is not enough. her ego needs to be validated by what other guys think and how they react to her. do i just ignore this? do i just break it off? how do i make her understand what i feel?
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male
reader, rolfen  +, writes (31 August 2010):
 Watch out for this girl, she is trouble. Most of all, watch your back. And watch ahead...
And oh, reconsider stuff like "and I'm sure she enjoys mine (company)". Don't be sure.
Also something else you got wrong: "i feel the compliments and attention i give her is not enough.". Wrong! They're probably too much! I don't think the other guys are exactly the complimenting type. Even if that's the way she may make it look. You don't have any quotas to meet in a relationship. I don't think you do the same to her, so why do you have to be the one tested measured and evaluated here? Why does it have to be YOU?
I'm just trying to make you avoid the pain that I went through because of a girl that was like the one you just described. And I didn't see it coming... at all!
But you know what, in a war there are no winners. For sure you feel mad for the thing she does, but I bet she feels terrible to for being lost like that. I think I can say that I've been in both situations, to some extent, and it is as bad to be with a girl who fools around then being with a girls who is falling head to foot for you when all you want to do is fool around and stay friends with her.
Cheers!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice guys!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (21 June 2010):
I wouldn't even bother with her now. Sounds to me like you were the rebound. She's not listening now, so she won't later. Retain your dignity, end it with her and find a better woman.
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee  +, writes (21 June 2010):
 This is not good, my friend. I'm fairly certain you know this already.
It sounds to me as if you're Mr. Right NOW and not Mr. Right.
Honestly, from the sounds of things, I'd say you could tell her how you feel til you're blue in the face, I think she just doesn't care how anything makes you feel. She is flagrantly disrespecting you.
This is more than an ego issue, it sounds downright Narcissistic! I predict you're going to get hurt by this girl.
I think you should just bow out gracefully, and leave her to her flirting and going about getting any guy she can.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): I don't think you can change her. You should let her know how you feel if you need to, but in the end, that alone won't change her.
And this is based on what you're saying. You're saying that she needs validation from these other guys. So this is a problem she has, whether it's low self-esteem regardless of how hot she is or not. (Strange phenomenon of how really good looking people seem to have self-esteem issues). The point is, she can't function unless these guys are paying attention to her. She needs to realize this and want to change and pinpoint what exactly this stems from in order to change.
But you alone won't be able to change her or make her change. So how much do you really care for her? It's going to be like this going forward, most likely, and it may get worse as she gets older and starts aging. If you love her enough, you'll accept it and be happy with what you have.
If not, you need to move on and find someone who cares for your deeply (and doesn't tell you how proud you should be to have a hot gf).
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