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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend says he mostly can't feel anything when we make love, yet when it is good, it can be amazing and he can feel me (he also says I don't always move correctly which affects things).It has got to the point now where he will pull off during sex and mostly not even let me finish him off with his hand. What do you think is going on? I know he is not being faithful and loves me dearly. This has been going on for some years now. He also doesn't seem to miss sex when we dont have it over a period of time, whereas I get really sexually frustrated. Any suggestions, advice, similar experiences, greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2005): first off: there is no one 'correct' way to have sex. if he's insisting there is, he knows very little about sex.
secondly: you said he's not faithful. warning sign there girlie.
third: if sex is important to you, and it's not working, you might wanna think about moving on to another guy.
A
female
reader, Mirabell +, writes (4 November 2005):
 Well, a surefire trick to temporarily inject lust into the bedroom is to try something new . . .that turns YOU on. When he sees you getting excited, odds are that he will get turned on as well. It is hard to have sex when you are in your own head, wondering if he'll enjoy it, if you're doing it right. Doing something that turns you on may switch you both into 'natural' mode, where hopefully no thoughts will sour the lovemaking.
It sounds, however, like a temporary fix will not do. He is obviously unhappy with your sex life. He may want something different and be holding back in fear that you will not accept it. On the other hand, the relationship may be over. If your boyfriend consistently "doesn't feel anything" during your most intimate physical moments, then you may just be having sex with yourself.
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A
female
reader, cherry46 +, writes (3 November 2005):
Sorry that you are having probs with this person, as you have said, sex can be good sometimes and not other times.
Not a lot of info in your question, so i will try to help with the little info here.
You have not said his age or if he is worried about anything, probs in work or the relationship etc, do you talk to him? If he is worried about his size, concerning him not feeling you, this does not make sense as you have it good sometimes as you said, just ask him. His size should not matter, foreplay is the answer.
Is he playing away? or is he worried that you are? or is he just worried about pleasing you? Hope this helps a little. Goodluck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2005): Hi Sorry to hear about this problem. Can I ask you....does your boyfriend use porn??? This is one of the number one reasons this problem can occur. You see the man can becaome so used to the firm grip of his hand and the way it can respond to his sensations (ie it would feel better to go a little quicker, slower, harder softer etc). Obviously their partners cannot know what sensations they are experiencing and naturally cannot respond in this way. Neitrher are our bodies designed to do th9is. My H and I had this same problem after seeking therapy he was recommended to stop using porn (which incidently gives men the wrong idea about women also and cause them to make undesirable of the women to their partners comparison making the situation worse). He stop using it and since then are sex life has improved incredibily....I dont know if your man uses it or not, just a thought on what could be the problem. Best wishes
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