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female
,
anonymous
writes: Ok there's this guy I really like. The problem is he never talks to me, oh yeah and he lives in a different country! He comes over here occasionally and I get to see him but never have the guts to go over and talk to him. I just don't know what to say. He's really shy as well so I can't just sit around all day hoping he'll come over to me. What do I do? I'm just no good at opening conversations. Anyone got any tips?
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female
reader, beenthere +, writes (4 November 2005):
who is this guy? a friend of a friend? talk to the people you both know. find out when he's around next and arrange a night out with mutual friends so they can introduce you to each other. you might find that you both come out of your shell a bit. i'm quite shy myself so i've been in similar situations. my partner had a crush on me for 7 years before we got together! if your mates know you're interested, i'm sure they'll help you out.
A
male
reader, Uncle Robin +, writes (4 November 2005):
Dear Anonymous person,
You don't say if you are female or male, I'll will give you an answer to both senario's:
1. You are female: The problem he has, seems to be your own. You say he is shy, this means that he is not going to go over and talk to you. You need to just over over to him and say hi, he's from overseas (you know that), well that is your opener...just say hi and ask him about where he's from, what he does, make all your awkward little excuses...its just that I've seen you a few times and I just wondered....etc etc. If he's shy (I share this "disability"). he's just going to be so happy someones made that great big step to talk to him, the fact that you will come across as awkward and shy yourself will make it so much easier for him to carry on the conversation. Just go for it and if he's the one you want you'll be so glad you did it.
The fact that he's from overseas will make it difficult, but we live in an age of cheap flights plus the internet. Go for it.
2. You are both of the same gender, two guy's. I'm afraid you have to be very brave and just cruise him. Read on the internet elsewhere "flirting hints for either gender", do this, be blatant so there is no doubt what you want, but be careful not to be seen by anyone else or you will scare him. Be ready to leave if he looks threatening or starts pointing you out to someone else. Leave at this point because you've got your answer, deny anything happened if anyone says anything to you. Unfortunately, that the society we live in, you can choose to be in or out of the closette, but sometimes when you reveal yourself its a risk.
Best wishes and take care.
Uncle Robin
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2005): If you dont think his going to make the 1st move, then you must seize control of the situation and ask him out!
Ask him even for his email or phone number, if your both shy its usualy easier to devolpe a relationship over the net then in real life, then when he comes back over, yes it will be awkward at first but youl know more about each other, and hopefully that will benifit the relationship.
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