A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Dear Aunts,Anyone ever deal with a S.O. getting a DUI? Is it a deal breaker? Its not rubbing me the right way. Actually I wasn't even dating her but she just got it. Now a week later she confessed she had feelings for me. I know shes going through the ringer with the law right now. It seems like shes falling and is just grabbing on everything that she can. I like her and I've told her that. I don't like drinking that much and I have never had a problem like that. Were in our late 30s and this just doesn't seem to be the time to be having those problems. I don't want to seem like a dick but I don't really want to peruse stuff with her. I don't see why the DUI has made her feel like the stars aligned to be together. Also she had one 5 years ago and idk.Thanks Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (30 April 2022):
Trust your gut instinct. If it doesn't feel "right", then it mostly likely isn't right. I suspect she is reaching out to you so she has someone willing to drive her while she is not allowed to drive.
Getting one DUI is bad enough, but two within the short space of five years rings deafening alarm bells. How many other times has she driven while intoxicated and got away with it if she has been caught twice in such a short space of time (part of which I assume she will have been off the road anyway)?
She is a liability to herself and to anyone associated with her. She is also a danger to others and is lucky she wasn't involved in any accidents. Worst of all, despite her age her drinking is out of control.
Honest advice: let this one go. You may like her but do you like her entitled selfish behaviour?
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 April 2022):
For me, it would be but then again I have quite a few dealbreakers.
She is "too old" to not know better. And "too old" to not DO better. Apparently, though, she isn't smart enough to make better choices...
I think it's absolutely OK to tell someone I don't see us working out. You don't OWE her a long explanation as to why.
You aren't even dating, just wish her well and block her!
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