A
female
age
,
*crambled brain
writes:Hi everyone, It's Saturday night and we normally go out for a meal together if we're not doing anything else. Tonight we've stayed in and it's weird because for the first time since I discovered the sex text betrayal of my husband in June 2008 and subsequent times since then (those of you who have followed my story will know all about it) I don't feel the same. Since I discovered it I have felt an overwhelming urge I suppose to 'keep my man' and it's made him seem so attractive that someone else was interested in him. I've felt hot with him every day and was happy just being alone with him and wanting the closeness of sex and wanting to please him. He was suddenly a sex god in my eyes. Tonight I feel different. I can see him as the boring, unattractive person I fell out of love with in the first place (which is mainly why he went looking for titillation elsewhere). It's scary because when I got back the feel of intense love with him again I thought it would last for ever but now we're drifting back to the way of life that caused the problem in the first place ie. him not being fanciable (in my eyes). I don't know if it's because I've come to my senses and can see him for what he was, a cheating, lying bas**rd and have decided I have some respect for myself. I am still tortured 24/7 by what he did to me and think of their texts/meetings every waking moment but instead of being pathetic I am now feeling angry and resentful at what the pair of them have done to me and robbed over a year of my life. Do you think this is normal? I so wanted the rekindled relationship to last for ever but am sitting here alone typing this when he's upstairs alone in bed. I would have been up like a shot wanting red hot sex but now I'd rather be down here with the TV and a glass of wine. Please give me your opinions x
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male
reader, softtouchmale2003  +, writes (20 September 2009):
 It seems you two keep hitting the ennui. Why not start thinking about recalling some fond memories together, maybe share a glass of wine together, and try being affectionate again.
Or ... you two could get totally naughty, and find a late nite place to go where few trepid souls fear to tread. In other words, some sort of nightclub. Do that spontaneous thing.
The other thing would be to try and talk to him about the ho-hum situation you two keep running up against.
Then again, you know yourself and him. Why is it that you're running hot and cold with him?
Is it the "I gotta win him at all costs ..." situation or is it more like you're worried about it getting boring and too settled.
The best thing you two can do is start doing other things together, maybe find a common hobby or thing to do and pursue it with passion. When you do that together, it kind of spills over into your home life and the bedroom. Its a thought.
Every couple hits this spot and it seems you want to avoid that ennui from setting in everytime it rears its ugly head.
That's actually pretty healthy except for the loathing part. If you can get past the loathing you ought to be okay.
Its just a guess anyway.
However, if you keep tapping keys on a Saturday night when hot sex used to be upstairs in the bedroom, then the problem here is you're making yourself lonely in your relationship.
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