A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:okay well I've been having a problem with my boyfriend. Well yesterday we got into a very heated fight, that lead to him twisting my words around completely and sccusing me of breaking up with him. I tried to explain to him what I meant but it was so hard because once he gets mad enough there is no working things out like a couple. We haven't been able to talk much lately and thats hard for me, I like to hear from him. So I told him how it bothers me, and then it started; I was called a bitch, I was told to shut the f*** up. Really hurtful things that only made the situation worse. I have to go to therapy (which embarasses me when it comes to him knowing) and it dosent help with him not understanding. When we do argue he will tell me things like "he cant talk to me right now because I'm making him mad" and he wants me to be able to open up to him but its so hard when he flys off the handle at me. I love him, but I'm so confused :( please, if anyone can help me I would really appreciate it. Thank you and God bless Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Azuren +, writes (20 September 2009):
This sounds much like the situation I'm in. My boyfriend says that I pick the wrong time to try talking to him. I've always thought that if we could set aside some time for talking, we'd both feel better about it. Sometimes if I feel like I really need to say whatever it is right then, I will write it down for later. It might sound lame, but what's the point of trying to talk with him about something if he's not in the mood to listen? I don't know, it's difficult not to feel hurt when your partner doesn't seem to care about talking to you, but I guess it's give and take.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2009): The next time he calls you a name (no matter how small), tell him you're not going to tolerate that. Tell him you'll walk out of the conversation right then and there if he can't get his temper under control.
If he calms down, proceed on; if not it'd be time to leave.
If he's really interested in listening to what you say, tell him to let you speak without interruption and when you're done then he can talk (And don't interrupt him to be fair.)
No one needs verbal abuse nor does anyone deserve to be called names. Don't let anyone treat you in this manner!
Best of Luck for you! Be strong!
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