A
female
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*__hikari
writes:I started talking to this really great guy a few weeks back. He goes to the same school as me but I don't really see him around much so we mostly talked through IM and texting. We seemed to really hit it off- we have the same interests, same personality and I really enjoyed talking to him. Everything just seemed to 'fit' and he was always very sweet and caring- he said he thought I was pretty and he really enjoyed talking to me. I started to really like him.We spent a whole afternoon together last week just the two of us talking and we laughed so much and he was really sweet [gave me his jacket when I was cold :)].But... ever since then he seems to be drifting away. He doesn't make an effort to talk to me [one word answers etc.] and he always seems to be in a bad mood. It's really confusing me because he's just suddenly changed. He says he's been having problems with his ex-girlfriend.. like he completely despises her and can't stand being being around her after everything shes done to him. He broke up with her a month ago.I really don't know what to do. I've still tried to talk to him and be there for him but it's really awkward and it seems like such a shame because.. I don't know what's happened. He doesn't seem the type to mess the girl around, but I really don't know.. is he just trying to let me down gently or what?What do you think is going on and what should I do about it?Thankyou x
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broke up, ex girlfriend, his ex, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, x__hikari +, writes (18 April 2009):
x__hikari is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks a lot everyone :) Things seem to be looking up now.. I hope x
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (27 March 2009):
 How long did he go out with her for? If it was for a long time, he could still be having issues about the breakup.
If I were you, I would cool it and NOT pursue him any more. Give him a whole bunch of space and let him come to you if he wants you. It may be old fashioned, but guys do like to do the pursuing, even in this day and age. And it will cut out the confusion that you are feeling, if he comes after you, he really is interested in you. Sometimes the simplest solutions are the best.
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A
male
reader, 2old4this  +, writes (27 March 2009):
 I don't think it has anything to do with you. He probably still has some strong feelings for his ex that he is not gonna share with you right now. I don't think he is trying to get rid of you, but maybe just try backing off a little bit. Maybe let him know that if he needs someone to talk to then maybe give you a call. But dont fall into the friendship only boat if thats not what you want.
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A
male
reader, Kepi +, writes (27 March 2009):
 Go read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus - you'll understand that when guys have problems they tend to retreat into their 'Cave' all u can do is let him know you are there and wait fro him to come back out again :) Its normal for us, we tend to retreat and try to deal with problems on our own unlike women who talk their problems thru... hope it all works out :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2009): i think u shuld have a go at him by sleeping next to him basically spending quality times with him at hte night bcoz sum boyz actually do that jus to get ur body but the gud way n truest me that is true bcoz i hav ecperianced that.
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A
female
reader, Original shiraz! +, writes (27 March 2009):
i think what hes trying to do is sort himself out, right now he obviosly has issues and i know its hard but for now your not 1st thing on his mind.its different for boys they handle situations differently they feel they cant show emotion so they go differently about how they try to cover it, such as the cold shoulder and the i dont care attitude, its hard but if you feel hes worth it try and undestand him. i know its hard but what you go through with him can help mould your future and the more you stick with him the more likely he is to respect you and be thankful in the future.right now his head isnt in it, for whatever reason give him some space but let him know you are always there. you cant put your life on hold for another so try and have some of your own fun. he will come to you when he needs you and he will, its just a matter of when. well done for being supportive and understanding so far its been hard already but as they say what knocks you down only makes you stronger! best of luck
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